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Passions in Poetry

Butterflies

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RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


0 posted 10-19-1999 02:31 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for RobertB

I've seen the lives
of butterflies
wrapped tightly in cocoons of lies
so when will I
a butterfly
break free from my cocoon suprized?
Then I can be
what's truly me
and when my colors people see
I'll float upon the currents free.

RB

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
© Copyright 1999 RobertB - All Rights Reserved
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


1 posted 10-19-1999 03:19 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Lovely! Liked this much!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


2 posted 10-19-1999 04:24 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

I thought the poem was very nice..but being the know-it-all I can sometimes be....

Butterflies do not have cocoons.Moths ahve cocoons. Butterflies undergo their metamorphasis in a chrysalis.

Sorry for being a smart ass.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


3 posted 10-19-1999 04:26 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Robert....well done....I liked this too!
U K Hero
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


4 posted 10-19-1999 05:18 PM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

very good but, (in my opinion) I do feel there was room for one more verse. Do write more.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 10-19-1999 10:34 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise



------------------
Denise
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


6 posted 10-19-1999 10:40 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

A sweet little piece..I liked it!
RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


7 posted 10-20-1999 07:09 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

hehehe systematic...I realized that moths do their thing in a cocoon about 2 years after I wrote this....but somehow didn't have the nerve to change it!!

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
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