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Open Poetry #3
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Cyclops (challenge from Echo Rhayne)
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Cyclops (challenge from Echo Rhayne) |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Well, I'm not sure If she meant the challenge seriously, but I took it as such. CYCLOPS One eye Constricted vision Limited view Predjudice Hate One eye Cataracs Blindly searching Blindly hurting Love One eye Never shifting Looking straight ahead Seeing only enigmas Despising One eye Uncomprehending Fearful of the unknown Must be rid of it Destructionist Cyclops ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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| © Copyright 1999 Systematic Decay - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I like the manner in which you worded this, short sharp imagery - very well done! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I'm not sure of the challange, but this works! |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Really excellent Amy !!!! Jenny |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Great work Amy! Enjoyed this much!! ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Well, the challenge came about in an odd way. I was talking to Echo over ICQ, and I quoted a song called "Cyclops." And she said that I sould write a poem starting with that, not realizing that it was a song. So I told her it was, and she said to write a poem about a cyclops anyway...and so I did. The last thing she said before she got offline was that I didn't have to do it, she was only joking, but I took the challenge anyway. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
dont know the challenge but, well writen. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I liked this Sys, very good  ------------------ What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Liked this! Nicely done! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Cleverly done, sd. I'll keep an eye out for you. |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
Thanks everyone for the replies. I honestly thought this poem wasn't THAT good, I mean I wrote it in 5 minutes off the top of my head...but your kind words make me think otherwise. ------------------ "Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage." -Billy Corgan- |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Indeed, a challenge very well met...serious or not. really like the style you write in here. ------------------ Michael Anderson Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream? |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Amy...I like it, you met the challenge great! Though I did say you didnt have to, that I was messing with you, I had a feeling you would meet the challenge anyways See what comes of weird conversations? LoL I like it though -) <~~There's the cyclops face again LoL ------------------ ~*~ Time erases and rewrites all the lines. What remains is the poetry! ~*~ |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very clever, Sys! I enjoyed reading this! ------------------ Denise |
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