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Passions in Poetry

Cyclops (challenge from Echo Rhayne)

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Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


0 posted 10-19-1999 01:32 AM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Systematic Decay

Well, I'm not sure If she meant the challenge seriously, but I took it as such.


CYCLOPS

One eye
Constricted vision
Limited view
Predjudice
Hate

One eye
Cataracs
Blindly searching
Blindly hurting
Love

One eye
Never shifting
Looking straight ahead
Seeing only enigmas
Despising

One eye
Uncomprehending
Fearful of the unknown
Must be rid of it
Destructionist

Cyclops

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
© Copyright 1999 Systematic Decay - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 10-19-1999 01:42 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I like the manner in which you worded this, short sharp imagery - very well done!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 10-19-1999 08:58 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I'm not sure of the challange, but this works!
JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


3 posted 10-19-1999 10:28 AM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

Really excellent Amy !!!!

Jenny
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
4 posted 10-19-1999 10:38 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Great work Amy! Enjoyed this much!!

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


5 posted 10-19-1999 12:16 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Well, the challenge came about in an odd way. I was talking to Echo over ICQ, and I quoted a song called "Cyclops." And she said that I sould write a poem starting with that, not realizing that it was a song. So I told her it was, and she said to write a poem about a cyclops anyway...and so I did. The last thing she said before she got offline was that I didn't have to do it, she was only joking, but I took the challenge anyway.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
U K Hero
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


6 posted 10-19-1999 05:47 PM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

dont know the challenge but, well writen.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


7 posted 10-19-1999 06:43 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

I liked this Sys, very good

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


8 posted 10-19-1999 07:09 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Liked this! Nicely done!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


9 posted 10-19-1999 08:25 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Cleverly done, sd. I'll keep an eye out for you.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


10 posted 10-19-1999 08:27 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Thanks everyone for the replies. I honestly thought this poem wasn't THAT good, I mean I wrote it in 5 minutes off the top of my head...but your kind words make me think otherwise.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


11 posted 10-19-1999 08:43 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Indeed, a challenge very well met...serious or not. really like the style you write in here.

------------------
Michael Anderson

Is all that we see or seem
but a dream within a dream?



Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


12 posted 10-19-1999 09:28 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Amy...I like it, you met the challenge great! Though I did say you didnt have to, that I was messing with you, I had a feeling you would meet the challenge anyways See what comes of weird conversations? LoL I like it though -) <~~There's the cyclops face again LoL

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~*~ Time erases and rewrites all the lines. What remains is the poetry! ~*~

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


13 posted 10-19-1999 09:34 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very clever, Sys! I enjoyed reading this!

------------------
Denise
 
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