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Open Poetry #3
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Warm Bahaman Breeze
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Warm Bahaman Breeze |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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In a rat-trap of boards and rain drip, dripping, Sweet William sat on a newspaper whistlin’ a tune, not a gloom tune, but a light, high and winsome like a warm Bahaman breeze tune. Beside him were two bananas splotched black mostly, but still hinting of the yellow of the place where they grew sun-ripe and sturdy. They were cast-offs now, like himself, Picked almost rotten from the dumpster behind the grocery store. He already ate the curled lettuce, and expired jar of Gerber’s pureed chicken, washed it down with some rain water. He was saving the bananas for last. While he whistled he imagined the slick sweet white and his pink tongue rolling it back and forth in his mouth, afraid that it would be gone to soon, before he was ready, knew it would be gone for sure once he started eating. So he waited, whistlen’ a tune, not a gloom tune, but a light, high and winsome like a warm Bahaman breeze tune. Of course, he had never been there, didn’t know a Bahaman breeze from arctic wind chill. He knew the length and breadth of many places he had never been, so he could taste these bananas now, while he was whistlen’ and they tasted sweet. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
A lot of effort and thought has gone into this piece, I’m not sure whether I understand it fully (I’m still learning) but I do know there is a deep feeling here. And its beautifully written. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Fabulous Martie! The places our minds can take us in order to make our realities a little softer... ------------------ "Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You captures a real flavor with this poem...and in the perfect tempo. Good work. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Your story captured and maintained by attention clear through to the end...at the end before I knew it! Very lovely!  ------------------ Denise |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Wonderful piece Martie.......a truly rewarding read...... ------------------ May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thanks alot for the boost. This is the beginning of a longer work of fiction which I'm hoping will be my first published novel (120 pages so far). Sweet William is the main character. |
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