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Passions in Poetry

Warm Bahaman Breeze

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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


0 posted 10-18-1999 06:28 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie



In a rat-trap of boards
and rain drip, dripping,
Sweet William sat on a newspaper
whistliní a tune,
not a gloom tune,
but a light, high and winsome
like a warm Bahaman breeze tune.

Beside him were two bananas
splotched black mostly, but
still hinting of the yellow
of the place where they grew
sun-ripe and sturdy.
They were cast-offs now,
like himself,
Picked almost rotten
from the dumpster behind
the grocery store.

He already ate the curled lettuce,
and expired jar of Gerberís pureed chicken,
washed it down with some rain water.
He was saving the bananas for last.

While he whistled he imagined the slick
sweet white and his pink tongue
rolling it back and forth
in his mouth,
afraid that it would be gone to soon,
before he was ready,
knew it would be gone for sure
once he started eating.

So he waited, whistlení a tune,
not a gloom tune,
but a light, high and winsome
like a warm Bahaman breeze tune.

Of course, he had never been there,
didnít know a Bahaman breeze
from arctic wind chill.
He knew the length and breadth
of many places he had never been,
so he could taste these bananas
now, while he was whistlení
and they tasted sweet.

© Copyright 1999 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
U K Hero
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


1 posted 10-18-1999 06:49 PM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

A lot of effort and thought has gone into this piece, Iím not sure whether I understand it fully (Iím still learning) but I do know there is a deep feeling here. And its beautifully written.
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


2 posted 10-18-1999 07:44 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Fabulous Martie! The places our minds can take us in order to make our realities a little softer...

------------------
"Tread softly, for I have spread my dreams under your feet"~~William Butler Yeats

Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 10-18-1999 07:48 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You captures a real flavor with this poem...and in the perfect tempo. Good work.
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 10-18-1999 07:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Your story captured and maintained by attention clear through to the end...at the end before I knew it! Very lovely!

------------------
Denise
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
5 posted 10-18-1999 08:23 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Wonderful piece Martie.......a truly rewarding read......

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


6 posted 10-19-1999 11:37 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Thanks alot for the boost. This is the beginning of a longer work of fiction which I'm hoping will be my first published novel (120 pages so far). Sweet William is the main character.
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