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Open Poetry #3
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Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

0 posted 1999-10-16 11:03 PM


A mere ant in the nest
A small fish in the sea
Nobody notices
Insignifigant me

Just one deer in the woods
A squirrel in the park
Nobdy cares
When I'm left in the dark

Just a grain of sand
A dim star in the sky
I'm always alone
And wondering why

To a silent wall
Everything I've said
I wonder if they'd notice
If I suddenly dropped dead

I'm lost in a glare
Brighter than the sun
I wish with all my might
That at least your having fun

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

© Copyright 1999 Systematic Decay - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-10-16 11:07 PM


I have felt like this at times in my life. I have found that the best way to deal with it is to lose myself in thoughts of others! Pretty soon, I'm not even thinking of my problems anymore! Great poem, by the way!

------------------
Denise

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
2 posted 1999-10-16 11:12 PM


The speaker feels insignificant, and by so regaling us with the life the speaker feels so acutely, a potent work is created. Bravo!

Also, this sparks a fragmented memory of a song once heard in my disjointed childhood:

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
Going to the garden to eat some worms

Alicat

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 1999-10-17 12:29 PM


so sad, but so well put

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This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. ~Eurpides

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
4 posted 1999-10-17 12:36 PM


I too have felt like this quite a few times in my life...It's a rough thing to go through...sad, yet wonderfully done.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

I walk with the multitude, yet alone am I in their midst. -- Daniel L. Miller


Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
5 posted 1999-10-17 01:32 AM


oooh this hits a sore mark ... insignifigance... my worst fear so far... i hope to live thru this one..

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Don't Fall.. Rise in Love
-------823-------

Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
6 posted 1999-10-17 02:23 AM


This is my problem, because I have so much to say, but no one listens. I have views that could cause a lot of controversy, and alot of animosity towards me, or a lot of agreement with me, depending on who I'm talking to, but nobody ever cares what I ahve to say, with the exception of the wonderful poets here at passsions.

BTW: Anyone interested in improving teen #2, please visit it and reply to my post in there. More of a rant really, but hopefully people will listen.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

7 posted 1999-10-17 09:23 AM


Sys, we both know that isn't entirely true as I listen with interest to all you have to say and do not find your views controversial but refreshing rather. Regardless, we are here to listen to you my friend.

------------------
Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


JennyLee
Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.
8 posted 1999-10-17 12:05 PM


Dear SYS, I care for every single word you write and your views. Keep up the honesty!!

Jenny

suicidal dreams
Member
since 1999-09-28
Posts 343
Toledo Ohio USA
9 posted 1999-10-17 01:22 PM


I listen to every word you say and watch everything you do, and let me tell you somethin more people listen to you than you let yourself believe

------------------
life is short kill quick

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 1999-10-18 01:37 AM


Sys, this is very sad, but well put, well done

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



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