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Passions in Poetry

The Barroom

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Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


0 posted 10-15-1999 12:03 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Mike

Bloodshot eyes from too long days,
...and even longer nights,
Cracked and weathered vinyl,
...flashing neon lights,
He sits alone atop a stool,
...barroom filled with haze,
One too many rounds again,
...Eyes with stupored glaze.
Clock with broken minute hand,
...hangs upon bare wall,
Must be nearly two a.m.,
...bartender yells, "Last Call."
A beer is placed upon the bar,
...no order ever made,
Tally placed on I.O.U.,
...that's how the bar tab's paid,
Cockroach runs across the floor,
...doesn't draw a glance,
As the juke box fills the bar,
...with strains of night's last dance,
"There is a house in New Orleans,
...they call the Rising Sun,
And its been the ruin of many a poor boy,
...and God I know I'm one."
And its been the ruin of many a poor boy,
...and God I know I'm one.
© Copyright 1999 Mike - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


1 posted 10-15-1999 12:19 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Mike,
I like the double emphasis, nice job.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


2 posted 10-15-1999 12:22 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Applauds....finely told!
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 10-15-1999 01:08 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

The atmosphere created is exceptional. Good mood poem.
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 10-15-1999 02:07 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

You've done well to transport the reader to the place, and I, too, like the repeat on the last lines.

Bravo!
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


5 posted 10-15-1999 11:03 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Thank you all for the comments. They are appreciated.
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


6 posted 10-16-1999 06:14 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Well done! I could smell the stale beer.

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 10-16-1999 02:33 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

So vividly described I had to step outside for a breath of fresh air! Very good!

Those last lines, what song is that from and who sang it? My memory is betraying me again!

------------------
Denise
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


8 posted 10-24-1999 12:29 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Had to bring this back up!

------------------
Denise
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


9 posted 10-25-1999 08:59 AM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Sorry for not responding earlier Denise...
didn't see your question...
Eric Burden and the Animals...
House of the Rising Sun
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


10 posted 10-25-1999 08:25 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

That's right! Of course it was! Seems like only yesterday, huh?! (Wish my brain worked like it did ...ummmmm...thirty years ago? Could it have been that long......Geeze maybe I am getting old!

Again, Fabulous piece, Mike!

------------------
Denise
 
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