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Passions in Poetry

Loving Wife

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DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


0 posted 10-14-1999 12:45 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

This poem I write for you dear wife,
for your love I had once known.
You've made such misery of my life,
and for it will not atone.

I've shown you concern and sympathy,
for it you've spit in my face.
You lack the remotest empathy,
loving you was my disgrace.

Your mind has a schizophrenic bent,
that feeds my anxiety.
Your insanity is heaven sent,
forgive this impiety.

Daily it seems you go through a fit,
spelling out how you hate me.
I hold you down through the worst of it,
even as you berate me.

You have punched me so hard it did cramp,
slapped me and split wide my lip.
Hard upon my rage I have to clamp,
while you give me a guilt trip.

The most I have done is hold you down,
so that you would hurt no one.
Within your madness I start to drown,
as sanity comes undone.

Each word of this verse I swear is true,
as is each thing I regret.
At wit's end I know not what to do,
nor how to deal with your threat.


©1999 DreamEvil

------------------
Nothing is worse than sorrow,
except perhaps disdain.
I'll be myself tomorrow,
tonight I'll feel the pain.

DreamEvil©


© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


1 posted 10-14-1999 12:49 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

I wish for the ability to reach through this screen to gently touch your face my friend.. as always I am here for you.
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


2 posted 10-14-1999 12:50 PM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

wow what a life you write of dream, thanks for sharing with us, I feel your pain, I understand the hate you write of and so, will send hugs, great writing...sad subject
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


3 posted 10-14-1999 01:38 PM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

Well done DreamEvil,

your words hold true for more than one person. The next time you evesdrop on our dinner table...let me know and I will gladly set you a place.

INclan
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 10-14-1999 01:39 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I am touched by this Scott, as you know full well, I can very much relate to this one. My heart goes out to you as well as my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs my friend
Ruth
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


5 posted 10-14-1999 01:46 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

I can very much relate to this as well Dream. I wish you well and nothing but the best. I don't know about your situation but I know this. You have to deal with it the best that you can and if it doesn't change you have to get out. I did and I am alive and have dreams again. If I had stayed I would have died in more ways then just one. I hope my words reach you and I hope they are taken in the way they were meant. In kindness and empathy.
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


6 posted 10-14-1999 01:58 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

I personally find the poem repugnant. If the poem is a reflection of how you view your life situation and you take this means to express your views, my feelings are with your wife. I find the poem in poor taste.
Of course, just my personal feeling. Realizing I will be villified for expressing my view, I will bid adieu... but this one was just too much for me to stomach.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


7 posted 10-14-1999 02:19 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

It is very easy to trash someone who is not around to present their view. There are always more than one side and, from your previous poems on this subject, it appears that there are more facts which you have selected not to make the readers privy to. The innocent, battered husband, soliciting sympathy from fellow (and mostly) female poets, abused through no fault of his own? I would find that scenario unlikely.

You get no villification from me, Mike, only agreement. Taste is lacking here.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


8 posted 10-14-1999 02:23 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

How sad....I hope things work out for the best, whatever that may be. But very well-written.

You have punched me so hard it did cramp,
slapped me and split wide my lip.
Hard upon my rage I have to clamp,
while you give me a guilt trip.

You know I can relate with this stanza, even thought the situations are completely different. **hugs**

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


9 posted 10-14-1999 02:27 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Solely for those who think I have no basis for this, my wife IS schizophrenic and violent. Her refusal to have the issue addressed is resulting in trauma to the children and both myself and her. It is necessary to hold her down so she does not hurt herself or others when she has a fit. In my naivete, I sought help and advice from this forum and once again, I am met with ridicule and scorn.

Balladeer, please direct me to any posts I have made concerning my wife's schizophrenia and the subsequent damage to our children as I would love to read them. It is not trashing her, it is fact and exactly what I relate.

Sympathy? Indeed not, I look for answers and a better way of coping with her problem until her appointment and meds take effect. I do find it curious that only females seem to have the compassion and insight to give answers and compassion while the males responding greet me with scorn and derision for staying by her side for all these years.

[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 10-14-1999).]
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


10 posted 10-14-1999 03:20 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Someone posts excellent writing here,and seems to be reaching out. What I have seen here is what he gets for it? We may not know all of the facts, so all we can do is contemplate what facts we do have. Whether they are facts or not is not up to us to judge. I think if anyone here felt that those facts weren't valid or true, they should have kept their words to themselves and been decent enough to stick to commenting on the poem as a poem, and not as a personal analysis on Dream's life. Good day for now, for I am very dissappointed in this place right now.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


11 posted 10-14-1999 03:55 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I would apologize for any offence given. My comments are based on the facts your previous poems have stated. A month or two ago your wife was a wonderful woman who accepted with grace and love the fact you were leaving her for another woman. That has apparently fallen through, if the change in your signature means anything, and now the same caring, understanding woman is viciously evil.

I should not, however, have responded but instead, as I have done in the past, simply said nothing. Something about Mike having the courage of his convictions to speak out in spite of opposing opinions prompted me to react.

I shall return to my shell of non-comment with respect to your personal endeavors. I hope all works out well.
Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


12 posted 10-14-1999 04:10 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

I do not have to deal with a problem like the problem DreamEvil seems to deal with.
Neither do I know if he slants his point of view in his direction. But I do know his feelings will be uncovered and exposed within his writing. But who are we to say what those feelings should or should not be.
At some time in our life haven't we all written a poem that dealt with anothers mistake? If not, now is your chance if you believe him wrong. I do not hold him responcible for his feelings. The only responcibility he has is what he does about those feelings. And if that action is included in a poem I'll read it. But I will not judge him personally until I have walked in his shoes. God bless you Dream. Perhaps some problems need to be discussed with math Professors who believe in numbers that don't even exist instead of we Poets who are always very opinionated but not always kind.
Craig
Senior Member
since 06-10-99
Posts 882


13 posted 10-14-1999 04:19 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig


DreamEvil

If what you say is true then Iím sorry for both you and your wife, she obviously means something to you because your still with her. You say you are asking for advice, my advice is go and ask somewhere where there are professional people who can help you and your wife. Asking advice on mental health from a bunch of poets is, I think youíll agree, not going to solve anything. My second piece of advice is delete this poem, even as a plea for help it is at best ill-conceived and at worst in bad taste if your wife is indeed ill, the last thing she deserves is her illness spread out for all the world to see.

I hope it all works out for you and your wife.


[This message has been edited by Craig (edited 10-14-1999).]
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


14 posted 10-14-1999 04:31 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

There are many things that are sad in this life. Poets are lucky to have words to express feelings that are for others unexpressable.
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


15 posted 10-14-1999 06:09 PM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

i disagree with Craig, this forum is for posting poems, and it takes 2 to make any relationship how ever unhealthy. It is not for us to decide right or wrong, it is simply a version of his life. I understood, because I have been held down against my will, and even though I am not psychotic, I understand her anger, and I see a little of both my husband and the pyschotic behavior that he exhibits in this poem, and I see the pain, I know he hurts even though I know he is wrong in the way he treats me, and I know I hurt....this poem is about pain....the way I see it, and *sigh* we all live with a degree of it, some more than others
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


16 posted 10-14-1999 07:33 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

I agree with Temptress, whether poems are fact or not, it is not up to us to Judge.
Soul-brother, I feel for you at this difficult time,if you feel you need to express your hurt in a poem well you do that, not matter what the subject. God Bless you Scott. ((( HUGS))) Soul-Brother.

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


17 posted 10-14-1999 08:07 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Ok. Well, I normally don't take the time to respond to certain types of postings.... but since there's been a little ado here, I have something to say.

First of all, I realize this is not the Critical Analysis Forum, but it IS a poeetry forum, so instead of talking about personal problems, let's talk poetry.

To D-Evil-

The poem's structure:
You has posted sentences which have rhyming words at the end. The meter changes from stanza to stanza and often from line to line. Did you work on editing this poem at all or did you just write what you were thinking? You have often indicated that writing quality poetry was of importance to you. I would encourage you to read this poem aloud, then work on the meter and flow of it. It is far inferior to some of your other poems which I have read.


The Theme:
The theme of the poem is a personal one, and it seems you have invited everyone in the forum to be informed of your marital problems. Since this is a poetry forum and not a marriage counseling forum and since I do not have any credentials as a marriage counselor, I won't address your personal marital problems. AND, since this is a poetry forum and not a mental hospital (well, except for some humorous exchanges between famous painters), I can't address your wife's illness or advise you on how to deal with it or how to cope. Being a public forum, even if we considered each other the dearest of friends, I would not want to discuss your problems in the forum, but instead would choose a private method of discussion. And part of the reason I think you have received some adamantly negative responses here, is because you are airing your dirty laundry in public and you are essentially asking for a reaction. Let's assume you really want sympathy and empathy from your peers and friends. That's fine, but in a poetry forum?

Let's take the theme of the poem from the standpoint that it is true. After all, why should the reader not believe you? Even in the last stanza, you have stated that this is not a fictional piece. You begin the poem by expressing hatred toward your wife and informing the reader that there have been physical confrontations and that your wife is mentally ill. That's a heavy place to start a theme. Then, you work your way toward the finale which informs the reader that this is not a fictional piece and pleads for sympathy.

I think you should consider revising your theme development. Since you are here to write poetry, and not for the sole purpose of evoking feelings of sympathy from your audience, why don't you consider eliminating the plea entirely? Then, if you begin the poem with the basis for your theme, such as the fact that you are married and maybe when you got married how lovely your wife looked and how you were endeared to her.... then develop the theme by creating imagery, using metaphor, simile or personification, or other tools of your craft... you could build up to the incident with your lib being bit and when your wife spits on you.

Anyway, for what it's worth, if you develop the theme better and work on your meter, you may end up with a much more effective poem for evoking emotion from me. (I am just one reader and this is my humble opinion).

Now, since you've aired your dirty laundry, I need to add that if I were your wife and had a mental illness problem, I would be very angry at you for posting it on the worldwide web. And if I found out about it, I might just punch you in the stomach.

That's all... thanks for the opportunity to post my response to your poem.

-dp
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


18 posted 10-15-1999 12:59 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Doreen,
Regarding meter, I am tone deaf and such makes it hard to distinguish stresses. Nan has told me that it is not a problem.

Again, my wife knows of the piece and has read it. She understands the need for release as do I. Which is why I do not comment on the free verse she writes about me. I hide nothing from her.

------------------
Nothing is worse than sorrow,
except perhaps disdain.
I'll be myself tomorrow,
tonight I'll feel the pain.

DreamEvil©


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


19 posted 10-15-1999 01:03 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Powerful words my friend. Hugs.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


20 posted 10-15-1999 01:27 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

I am here as always brother.
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


21 posted 10-15-1999 03:13 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Excellent verse.As I would except nothing less from from having read your previous works.You can feel your emotions and struggles.I see from the previous post that although most agree the verse is well done,most don't like your subject matter.I feel each poem should be judged on it's own merits.If it's well written the it's a good piem.No all subject mater appeals to everyone.If yoyur unable to see the eritten for what it is then don't reply.Each of us is entitled to our own opinions.But if you wish to attack someone for the subject it's best to do so privately.

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


23 posted 10-15-1999 04:00 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

DE...yanno? Life is tough. Marriage is really tough...and, it's part of life for most of us. I have many things I could say about my marriage....mostly too personal to me and her, and I have the utmost respect for her, "for better or for worse" didn't work for us, but still does in personal confidence and respect. I would guess you're going thru a difficult time right now, and I hope all works out well, but, some things ya may wanna consider before bringing it out for the whole world?...Just my opinion...and again, I hope your wife gets better, after all, I would think she doesn't have control of her problem, and maybe it's best if that problem were solved between the two of ya?..Best of luck.....like I said, I would assume it's not any easy road, but maybe the "benefit of the doubt and privacy" would be beneficial....ya think?
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


24 posted 10-15-1999 04:30 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Dreamie

They sure told you, didn't they?! Personally, I see nothing about the theme of your poem that is significantly different from the themes of a lot of other poems that get posted in here. Not a day goes by that somebody doesn't write about their imperfect relationship. As for the love/hate flavor of your marriage... shoot, Dreamie, you aren't as unique as others would have you portrayed. I doubt there is anybody on this board who hasn't at one time or another felt less loving for their spouse, and even had brief flashes of hate. That's what makes this world turn, the loving and the fighting. But through it all, the love is there. That's what I got out of your poem. Love, tinted with periods of desperation. My brother, a widower after 30 years of marriage, went through hell many times, once nearly losing his life from a vicious beating. But he hung in there, and we both cried like babies at her funeral. I hope you get the help you need.
Deverone
Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 136
San Antonio, Tx, USA


25 posted 10-15-1999 11:02 PM       View Profile for Deverone   Email Deverone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deverone

DreamEvil,

Your words are strong and courageous to be put up into this forum. You have poured your heart out and you might get kind gentle words and you might also get the other kind.

However I prefer to give you some of the first kind. As I said before it took a little courage to do this and I feel for you as well as your wife. I am probably a little more empathetic toward you though since I am getten out of a marraige that went kinda south.

Well good luck with everything and I hope you both can endure for the sake of the "LOVE" you have.

------------------
Deverone

"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out".

----Ray Bradbury---

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