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Passions in Poetry

On her way up

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ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 739
Wisconsin


0 posted 10-13-1999 12:51 AM       View Profile for ThUnDeRkYsS   Email ThUnDeRkYsS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for ThUnDeRkYsS

Kept in the dark
for so many years
nobody would tell her
confirm her worst fears

She struggled and tried
being all that she could
"we'll make it work"
she "knew" that they would

All of the beauty
that so brightly had glown
soon to be gone
though she'd never known

Chasing a dream
that wasnt quite there
so real was her love
that wasnt quite shared

What a beautiful thing
to simply throw out
have taken for granted
her candle blown out

Years have soon past
and still getting worse
"it cannot be true"
this cannot be cursed

All of the hurt
all of the pain
building inside her
forced through her viens

It's finally ending
with some needed help
from someone who cares
who knows how she felt

Pray for her I will
that her heart may someday
accept much needed love
and realize it can stay

Know how real it can be
like the way it once was
something inside you
more than the old fuzz

Now its time to prepare
for the rest of her life
shes on her way up
through the clouds she sees light

A heart once tarnished
soon ready to shine
to be bright once again
for whats down the line

Shes on her way up now
flying with brand new wings
such a beautiful sight
my heart for her sings

[This message has been edited by ThUnDeRkYsS (edited 10-14-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 B.J.Howe - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


1 posted 10-13-1999 02:10 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Thunderkyss, this is good, enjoyed the read

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


2 posted 10-13-1999 07:05 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

'What a beautiful site....My heart for her sings" Loved this line..Nicely done!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 10-13-1999 09:22 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I really like the message behind this one...the rhyme is wonderful and it flows pretty smoothly throughout except for a few lines that could us a nip and a tuck, otherwise a wonderful piece of work
ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 739
Wisconsin


4 posted 10-13-1999 07:06 PM       View Profile for ThUnDeRkYsS   Email ThUnDeRkYsS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ThUnDeRkYsS

I thank you all greatly for your input and comments. I truley appreciate every last one

Hoot: Here is the finished product A little more than a "nip" here and a "Tuck" there, but it all worked out I think Thank you again for helping me out with this one

------------------
Life is what you make of it... Not what you let it be
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 10-14-1999 09:16 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Thunder....I love what you did with this Nice job and a wonderful poem
How about a boost back to the top ?
StuffN
New Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 7
USA


6 posted 11-12-1999 01:36 AM       View Profile for StuffN   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for StuffN

Brian...I can only hope you are right. If not, it helps to know that you are there and I have your hand. Thanks, again. :*****
ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 739
Wisconsin


7 posted 11-12-1999 01:44 AM       View Profile for ThUnDeRkYsS   Email ThUnDeRkYsS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ThUnDeRkYsS

Melanie... You are welcome, and you have my hand whether this is true or not ;*******

------------------
Life is what you make of it... Not what you let it be
JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


8 posted 11-22-1999 11:52 AM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

So beautiful I loved the words in verse three.


Jenny

------------------
Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.


ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 09-23-1999
Posts 739
Wisconsin


9 posted 11-28-1999 08:38 PM       View Profile for ThUnDeRkYsS   Email ThUnDeRkYsS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ThUnDeRkYsS

Thank you Jenny
 
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