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Passions in Poetry

Potty Party (in answer to Christopher re: seat up or down)

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Justin Thyme
since 09-13-99
Posts 228

0 posted 10-11-1999 12:28 PM       View Profile for Justin Thyme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Justin Thyme

Potty Party

I spent the night at Shirley's house
following her gig.
I had come to have some fun,
but partied like a pig!
I had had way too much to drink
so slept upon the floor.
I couldn't drive my Chevrolet,
I couldn't see the door.

I asked if I could sleep with Shirl.
My girlfriend was the best.
But all she did was say her name,
saying, "Shirley, U. Jest".
Some others stayed at Shirley's, too;
because they couldn't drive.
My Shirley was their friend indeed
and helped keep them alive.

I soon awoke at 4AM --
I had to take a leak.
I went to Shirley's second bath.
My knees were getting weak.
I didn't turn the light switch on--
I just wanted to pee.
But some girl left the round seat down!
I splashed upon my knee!

I cursed so loud (but no-one woke)
and then raised up the seat.
I'm courteous to most, you see --
my splash will not repeat!
I went to sleep back on the floor
but soon I heard a scream!
Justine Ormous fell right in
the potty, so it seemed!

"Uh oh, " I said, then hid my head,
since I am no conformist!
I left the seat up for the guys,
but feared this Justine Ormous.
The chick was huge! She'd tear me up!
I did not leave the seat up!
I'd lie 'til May, I'd lie 'til June!
I'd hated to get beat up!

Justine came out, her butt now dry,
the chef the night before.
And so I rose to talk to her.
I couldn't sleep no more.
I didn't mention toilet seats,
instead I praised the cooking.
I said I liked her Jumbo Shrimp,
and said she was good looking.

"Jumbo Shrimp?", she said to me,
then called me "oxymoron".
She didn't make the shrimp, you see;
we had a minor war on!
And so I thought, oh lucky me!
This could be Armeggedan
if she had thought the lid was up
because I was forgettin'.

And so next time Justine's around,
make sure you leave the pot seat down.

Justin T.
© Copyright 1999 Justin Thyme - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA

1 posted 10-11-1999 01:18 PM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

A man has GOT to know his limitations....
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525

2 posted 10-11-1999 01:27 PM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Nicely done! LOL

Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Richard 33
since 09-09-99
Posts 197
glen easton, wv usa

3 posted 10-11-1999 01:40 PM       View Profile for Richard 33   Email Richard 33   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Richard 33

I once had an experience like tiz.
All because I had to whiz.

At 4 am I heard my wife scrabling about,
from the next room, I heard the distant
sound, there was no doubt.

It was a spash, next my head she would try
to mash!!

This so sincerely made me frown, so next
time I left the potty seat down............
Tidy Bowl Man
New Member
since 10-11-1999
Posts 1

4 posted 10-11-1999 04:21 PM       View Profile for Tidy Bowl Man   Email Tidy Bowl Man   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Tidy Bowl Man

Guess I got here Justin Thyme,
to save you a little face.
To tell you some advice of mine,
You better listen Justin Kase.

Your problem with Justine Ormous,
it is a story I've heard a lot.
S'what happens to non-comformists,
when dealing with the pot.

See Justine was not mad at you,
he ire was with Justin Ane!
She didn't have a reason to,
pick on you, you were framed!

'Cause everybody knows the truth,
the pot seat's better left up.
But Justine Omrous was told "Forsooth!"
By Justin Ane since just a pup.

A mentor dear, Justin Inclined,
to tell a few white lies.
No truth did Justine Ormous find,
Though I swear she'd always try!

So a sad sad case of bitterNess,
is what this's all about.
So get in there, clean up the mess,
and do try not to pout.

Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland

5 posted 10-12-1999 07:51 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

You're a grown man aren't you?
You should learn to aim better!
Seat should definitely be down!!

How long after you are gone will ripples remain as evidence that you were cast into the pool?
(Daughter of Mystery)

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655

6 posted 10-12-1999 08:27 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Listen and learn
The fine art of self preservation
Rule one states
Sit down while at the potty station

Whether man or beast
God gave you a rear
And if you wish to keep it
My advice you'll adhere

If you miss your aim
While standing about
You'll be minus a digit
The next time she shouts

"Who left the lid up?
Damn it, I'm all wet!"
So best you conform
And next time just sit
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561

7 posted 10-12-1999 09:25 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Ok I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to laugh. But this cracked me up. It brings to mind a toilet seat cover my grandfather used to have. Amazing I still remember this. Gentlemen please stand close, it may be shorter than you think.
Women please be seated during the whole performance.
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a

8 posted 10-12-1999 09:56 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

I think that all males should have the common coutesy to put the lid down. Its just commo courtesy. I mean, guys dont have to worry about sitting down. So since it naturally is less trouble for them, they should save us females the trouble of remembering to check if the seats down.

"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
since 09-26-1999
Posts 444
deer park, wa

9 posted 10-12-1999 10:27 PM       View Profile for merlynh   Email merlynh   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for merlynh

This seems to be sort of a reptile kind of thing. No laugh when big moma beats you ass for doing. I personal don't have the problem. Ha, ha got two bathrooms. Well helps a little bit. I've sat down myself you know when us men have to and got my ass wet. It really get personal when you the only male in the house.

You made me laugh and laugh you ought to be in pictures. Heck I've come and watch you make a fool out of yourself. Wait a minute people make a lot of money that way? Your great. Keep it up.
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a

10 posted 10-13-1999 07:43 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Well, just leave the seat down all the time....pee all over it....then see if they bitch!!! LOL.....

(LongJohn was having access problems and asked me to post the above statement. It in no way reflects the opinion of Toerag nor that of Passions In Poetry.)
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831

11 posted 10-13-1999 08:23 AM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

This was a jewel, Justin. I had a house full of kids with one Potty room! I have fallen in the well and was once shocked wide awake in the middle of the night after someone was inspired to put the lid down as well. Things such as this were always blamed on the cat we didn't have!
Needless to say I loved this piece.
Jim Raynor
since 09-19-99
Posts 63
Churubusco Indiana USA

12 posted 10-14-1999 04:08 PM       View Profile for Jim Raynor   Email Jim Raynor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jim Raynor's Home Page   View IP for Jim Raynor

LoL Justin you never cease to surprize any of us hahah

Love hurts when your flying solo. -Jim Raynor
"Be Nice, Every one is fighting a tough war against them selves" - "John Wats" - Jim Raynor( at least i think John Wats Said that.
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA

13 posted 10-15-1999 04:17 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Laughing as hard at the replies as at the poem itself
My 5 cents worth....put the seat down when your done guys, wet butts can cause instant headaches if ya'll know what I mean
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