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Passions in Poetry

My Sanity's Gone

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Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


0 posted 10-10-1999 09:02 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Systematic Decay

With a lump in my throat
And a grin painted on
With empty eyes showing
My sanity's gone

With a lack of reason
And a laugh so bitter
Alone in my mind
I sift through the litter

Fleeting images
Pass through my head
A knife to my throat,
Being pushed off the bed

Surrounded with enemies
Always alone
I only did things
I thought you'd condone

Its so hilarious
When I look back
I'm laughing so hard
At the courage I lacked

My soul runs away
Through tears on my face
My sanity's gone
And it left not a trace

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-


[This message has been edited by Systematic Decay (edited 10-24-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Systematic Decay - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 10-10-1999 09:31 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Great! Dark and delightfully expressed.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 10-10-1999 09:37 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very descriptive, SD, and easy to read!

------------------
Denise
Star Fairy 2
Member
since 09-06-99
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa


3 posted 10-11-1999 12:41 AM       View Profile for Star Fairy 2   Email Star Fairy 2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Star Fairy 2

i liked this one... good work

------------------
Happiness is a journey.. not a destination
-------823-------
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 10-11-1999 12:57 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

This flows very nicely
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


5 posted 10-13-1999 07:49 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Well done verse!!!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


6 posted 10-13-1999 08:54 AM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

Very well done as always SYS !!!!

Jenny

Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


7 posted 10-13-1999 09:07 AM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme


Nice!. Enjoyed it.

Ohme
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


8 posted 10-13-1999 09:15 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Yes, well done.
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


9 posted 10-23-1999 08:45 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

I'm glad I found it SD. I enjoyed it !
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


10 posted 10-24-1999 04:53 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

I Echo all the above, Well Done! as always

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


11 posted 10-24-1999 08:34 AM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

YOURS is gone too? I was going to ask if you knew where MINE was!

**sigh** Oh well ... you write well for a crazy person, I must say!

-- Kess

------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


12 posted 10-24-1999 10:49 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Systematic....I believe this is my second posting on this one. I really like it, one small suggestion though. The lines:
"In my mind I'm
Sifting through all the litter"

If you changed it to something like
Alone in my mind
I sift through the litter

it would make an already good meter perfect

Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


13 posted 10-24-1999 01:36 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Hey, Ruth, thanks for the suggestion. I will edit it now.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
 
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