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Open Poetry #3
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Toe Trek
| Open Poetry #3 |
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Toe Trek |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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It was star date fifty four point two, A calm day for Jean-Luc and crew As they maneuvered endless skies Aboard the Starship Enterprise. They sailed along quite happily, Far corners of the galaxy With Data, Worf, Deanna Troy, Riker, the doctor and her boy. 'Twas Worf, I think, the first to see What would become their malady. He said, "Captain, sir, I think I spied An alien craft on our port side." Yes, there it was, now in full sight. It's hull gave off an eerie light With laser cannons sticking out. It was a battle craft, no doubt. "Hail them!", shouted out Picard To Worf, commander of the guard. "There's no reply"' Worf answered back. "I'd say they're ready to attack!" The Data said, "There's trouble now. I see another off the bow And yet another over there. We are surrounded everywhere!" Jean-Luc then cried out, "RED ALERT! Those laser cannons really hurt! Data! Take us to warp four And keep the pedal to the floor!" "Warp engines offline", Data said. Jean-Luc ran finger through his head. (He used to run them through his hair And still forgets it isn't there.) "Commander Worf! Let fly with phasers! Aim them at their canon's lasers. Riker! Turn us hard about! Let's try to find some small way out." Just then, to no one's sad surprise, The ships fired on the Enterprise. The shields held but wouldn't long. Those laser blasts were just too strong. Will Riker said, "What can we do? Our power's offline. Our weapons, too. It looks like we've run out of luck. We're nothing but a sitting duck!" The captain said, "Oh, what the hell! We've but one choice, you know damned well. Data, you know where to go. Come back here with Ensign Toe!" Not Ensign Toe!...but they all knew That only he could pull them through For only he could save the day But, what a bitter price to pay! Data returned with Ensign Toe Who said, "Hey, Worfie! What you know? When gals see me without a thing on They swear that I must be part Klingon!" "Ensign Toerag!", jean-Luc screamed out. "For once, stop being such a lout! There's a chance we will not make it home. We need you to recite a poem!" "But", Toe replied, "you once told me You'd shoot if I read poetry! That, if I didn't shut my face, You'd transport me to hyper-space." "Forget that now", Jean-Luc replied. "We're glad to have you on OUR side. Just step up to that microphone And favor us with some, er, poem." So Toe let go at fever pace. His words were carried into space. The alien ships began to crack Under Toe's ungodly word attack. With every stanza from Toerag The aliens waved a huge white flag And, as his poem kept going on, They turned their ships and they were gone. Toe's words continued through the void, Turned planets into asteroids, Extinguished suns caught in the fray And even curdled the Milky Way. "What have we done?", the captain said. "This part of space is now all dead. Quick, Data, get us out of here And don't look back. Just get us clear." And, as they sped out, undeterred, Jean-Luc was very sure he heard A heavenly voice shout in a roar, "What noise!! St. Peter! Close the door!!" |
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| © Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
I struggle to think of words to say, as I am unable to stop laughing {takes deep breath} another classic Balladeer, bravo, bravo |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, You truly deserve your name, a brilliant piece of writing. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh ha ha he he (slapping knee) "curdled the Milky Way"....and St.Peter closing the door....LOL You are so good !!! What a way to end a war !!  I am sooooo glad I read this ! What talent you posess....I know what you do...you sit around all day long thinking up your awesome punch lines, and then build the story from there....HA HA You are quite the comedian !!! Gotta go, about to pee on myself from laughing !!! (running down the hall)------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A gloomy day you have made fun What need have I for rays of sun Or special plans to make my day When brilliance shines in all you say? This world would sure prove very drear If we had not our Balladeer!!  ------------------ Denise |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
LOL Thanks for making me laugh like this ! Tears are rolling down my cheeks. : ) This made me think of the diverting history of John Gilpin, by William Cowper, only yours is better. : ) |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Not only a good poem for a Trekkie but also a good jab at the 'Toe-man'! Superb! You are wonderful!!!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Great poem, and hilarious. Even a treckki would get wetty from laughing so much. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thanks to all you wonderful trekkies....and friends. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I guess this is where someone says "beam me up" but I'm going from memory only cause I'm far too young to remember personally..LOL HUSG ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
...These are the voyages of the Starship En-Toe-Prize..... |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Shaking my head in between the laughter.... I swear, I love this war of words. Each one better than the last. Well done....and very en-toe-taining. (Thanks, Nan...LOL) |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
St. Peter finally shut the door, Cuz the angels all adored, The sweet poetry of Ensign Toe, And they all decided to up and go. The angels so sweet, all pure and white, Spread their wings for heavenly flight, Towards the golden voice they'd go, To hear the poems of Ensign Toe. As the Angels gathered 'round the Enterprise, To view Toerag with envious sighs, They spread their wings and hovered the sky, And soon they wanted to spread their thighs True Toerag saved the Enterprise, From them evil alien guys, But he also left St. Peter lonely, Toe became the Angel's one and only! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer This is truly a classic, and the truth - how do you see into the future so well? Toe Your riposte has lil Lorelei laughing - she says you think with your "real brain" - lol - I tend to agree |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Hi ya sailor....Now you tell Lorelei that wasn't very nice to say!! LOL....Hope things are going well with you two..... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
laughing, laughing, laughing... |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well Ballie! Ya done good!.....I sure wish someone would beam ya up though!!! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Balladeer: I leave for one weekend and you're back to your evil ways, maligning sweet Toe's superb poetry! LOL. Love Jean-Luc running his fingers through his head... guess you know 'bout that hair loss thing from personal experience, hunh? *G* Well done, ya scalawag! Toerag: Excellent response, sweets... NOW I wanna be an angel! LOL. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
well suthern you only need wings to complete the package great poems the both of you it amazes me how you just keep coming up with these, I have trouble just remembering the way to work lolol |
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Deb Lynne Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 180Where blue skies meet blue ocean |
Reading the on-going battles makes for such a nice break at work! You guys crack me up. Good one MM! |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
ROFL, this was really cute! I loved it, and what imagination! LOL |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Sir Balladeer: Too Damn Funny For Words! A most excellent read! Full of great visuals... and thanks for turning down the audio... I don't think the universe could handle another cosmic-a-toe-mic attack. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you, Andrew, and everyone. Nice little addition there, Toe. Completely inaccurate, but nice. Forget it, Suthern. Angels spread WINGS! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Scotty....energize ! |
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