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Passions in Poetry

Toe Trek

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Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 10-10-1999 01:34 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

It was star date fifty four point two,
A calm day for Jean-Luc and crew
As they maneuvered endless skies
Aboard the Starship Enterprise.

They sailed along quite happily,
Far corners of the galaxy
With Data, Worf, Deanna Troy,
Riker, the doctor and her boy.

'Twas Worf, I think, the first to see
What would become their malady.
He said, "Captain, sir, I think I spied
An alien craft on our port side."

Yes, there it was, now in full sight.
It's hull gave off an eerie light
With laser cannons sticking out.
It was a battle craft, no doubt.

"Hail them!", shouted out Picard
To Worf, commander of the guard.
"There's no reply"' Worf answered back.
"I'd say they're ready to attack!"

The Data said, "There's trouble now.
I see another off the bow
And yet another over there.
We are surrounded everywhere!"

Jean-Luc then cried out, "RED ALERT!
Those laser cannons really hurt!
Data! Take us to warp four
And keep the pedal to the floor!"

"Warp engines offline", Data said.
Jean-Luc ran finger through his head.
(He used to run them through his hair
And still forgets it isn't there.)

"Commander Worf! Let fly with phasers!
Aim them at their canon's lasers.
Riker! Turn us hard about!
Let's try to find some small way out."

Just then, to no one's sad surprise,
The ships fired on the Enterprise.
The shields held but wouldn't long.
Those laser blasts were just too strong.

Will Riker said, "What can we do?
Our power's offline. Our weapons, too.
It looks like we've run out of luck.
We're nothing but a sitting duck!"

The captain said, "Oh, what the hell!
We've but one choice, you know damned well.
Data, you know where to go.
Come back here with Ensign Toe!"

Not Ensign Toe!...but they all knew
That only he could pull them through
For only he could save the day
But, what a bitter price to pay!

Data returned with Ensign Toe
Who said, "Hey, Worfie! What you know?
When gals see me without a thing on
They swear that I must be part Klingon!"

"Ensign Toerag!", jean-Luc screamed out.
"For once, stop being such a lout!
There's a chance we will not make it home.
We need you to recite a poem!"

"But", Toe replied, "you once told me
You'd shoot if I read poetry!
That, if I didn't shut my face,
You'd transport me to hyper-space."

"Forget that now", Jean-Luc replied.
"We're glad to have you on OUR side.
Just step up to that microphone
And favor us with some, er, poem."

So Toe let go at fever pace.
His words were carried into space.
The alien ships began to crack
Under Toe's ungodly word attack.

With every stanza from Toerag
The aliens waved a huge white flag
And, as his poem kept going on,
They turned their ships and they were gone.

Toe's words continued through the void,
Turned planets into asteroids,
Extinguished suns caught in the fray
And even curdled the Milky Way.

"What have we done?", the captain said.
"This part of space is now all dead.
Quick, Data, get us out of here
And don't look back. Just get us clear."

And, as they sped out, undeterred,
Jean-Luc was very sure he heard
A heavenly voice shout in a roar,
"What noise!! St. Peter! Close the door!!"
© Copyright 1999 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
U K Hero
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since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


1 posted 10-10-1999 01:43 PM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

I struggle to think of words to say, as I am unable to stop laughing {takes deep breath} another classic Balladeer, bravo, bravo 
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


2 posted 10-10-1999 01:52 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Balladeer,
You truly deserve your name, a brilliant piece of writing.
poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


3 posted 10-10-1999 02:05 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Oh ha ha he he (slapping knee) "curdled the Milky Way"....and St.Peter closing the door....LOL You are so good !!! What a way to end a war !! I am sooooo glad I read this ! What talent you posess....I know what you do...you sit around all day long thinking up your awesome punch lines, and then build the story from there....HA HA You are quite the comedian !!! Gotta go, about to pee on myself from laughing !!! (running down the hall)

------------------
I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale


Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 10-10-1999 02:18 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

A gloomy day you have made fun
What need have I for rays of sun
Or special plans to make my day
When brilliance shines in all you say?
This world would sure prove very drear
If we had not our Balladeer!!

------------------
Denise
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


5 posted 10-10-1999 03:36 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

LOL Thanks for making me laugh like this ! Tears are rolling down my cheeks. : )
This made me think of the diverting history of John Gilpin, by William Cowper, only yours is better. : )
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


6 posted 10-10-1999 03:51 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Not only a good poem for a Trekkie but also a good jab at the 'Toe-man'! Superb! You are wonderful!!!!
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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7 posted 10-10-1999 05:04 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Great poem, and hilarious. Even a treckki would get wetty from laughing so much.
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 10-10-1999 05:18 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Thanks to all you wonderful trekkies....and friends.
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


9 posted 10-10-1999 05:28 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

I guess this is where someone says "beam me up" but I'm going from memory only cause I'm far too young to remember personally..LOL

HUSG

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


10 posted 10-10-1999 06:17 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

...These are the voyages of the Starship En-Toe-Prize.....
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


11 posted 10-11-1999 12:40 AM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

Shaking my head in between the laughter....
I swear, I love this war of words. Each one better than the last. Well done....and very en-toe-taining. (Thanks, Nan...LOL)
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


12 posted 10-11-1999 07:38 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

St. Peter finally shut the door,
Cuz the angels all adored,
The sweet poetry of Ensign Toe,
And they all decided to up and go.

The angels so sweet, all pure and white,
Spread their wings for heavenly flight,
Towards the golden voice they'd go,
To hear the poems of Ensign Toe.

As the Angels gathered 'round the Enterprise,
To view Toerag with envious sighs,
They spread their wings and hovered the sky,
And soon they wanted to spread their thighs

True Toerag saved the Enterprise,
From them evil alien guys,
But he also left St. Peter lonely,
Toe became the Angel's one and only!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


13 posted 10-11-1999 08:41 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

'Deer

This is truly a classic, and the truth - how do you see into the future so well?

Toe

Your riposte has lil Lorelei laughing - she says you think with your "real brain" - lol - I tend to agree
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


14 posted 10-11-1999 08:53 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Hi ya sailor....Now you tell Lorelei that wasn't very nice to say!! LOL....Hope things are going well with you two.....
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


15 posted 10-11-1999 09:40 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

laughing, laughing, laughing...
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


16 posted 10-12-1999 07:58 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Well Ballie! Ya done good!.....I sure wish someone would beam ya up though!!!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


17 posted 10-12-1999 09:01 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Balladeer: I leave for one weekend and you're back to your evil ways, maligning sweet Toe's superb poetry! LOL. Love Jean-Luc running his fingers through his head... guess you know 'bout that hair loss thing from personal experience, hunh? *G* Well done, ya scalawag!

Toerag: Excellent response, sweets... NOW I wanna be an angel! LOL.
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


18 posted 10-12-1999 01:39 PM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

well suthern you only need wings to complete the package

great poems the both of you

it amazes me how you just keep coming up with these, I have trouble just remembering the way to work lolol
Deb Lynne
Member
since 08-19-99
Posts 181
Where blue skies meet blue oce


19 posted 10-12-1999 02:10 PM       View Profile for Deb Lynne   Email Deb Lynne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deb Lynne

Reading the on-going battles makes for such a nice break at work! You guys crack me up. Good one MM!
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


20 posted 10-12-1999 03:08 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

ROFL, this was really cute! I loved it, and what imagination! LOL
Andrew Scott
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since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


21 posted 10-13-1999 04:01 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Sir Balladeer: Too Damn Funny For Words! A most excellent read! Full of great visuals... and thanks for turning down the audio... I don't think the universe could handle another cosmic-a-toe-mic attack.
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


22 posted 10-14-1999 12:30 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Thank you, Andrew, and everyone.

Nice little addition there, Toe. Completely inaccurate, but nice.

Forget it, Suthern. Angels spread WINGS!
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


23 posted 02-09-2000 05:20 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Scotty....energize !
 
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