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Passions in Poetry

First Attempt at Free Verse

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Blue Eyed Wanderer
Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 84
Rhode Island, US


0 posted 10-09-1999 03:05 PM       View Profile for Blue Eyed Wanderer   Email Blue Eyed Wanderer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blue Eyed Wanderer

I normally write rhyming poems, but I just wasn't exactly in a rhyming mood when I wrote this, and I just had to get it out.

When I fell in love with you
I didn't take the time to realize
That you might break my heart.
My heart's been fooled so many times
By now I should have learned
But I've never cared this much for someone.
My feelings have never been this strong.
I thought this love would last forever.
I know it will inside of me,
But your love for me died long before
It ever had the chance to begin to live.
I thought we'd be able
To get through any obstacle we found.
I know i could have, but you couldn't.
You backed out at the first problem
With our distance you said it'd never work.
Yet to me the distance didn't matter.
It made any time I saw you all the more special.
Yet you needed me there constantly
Well, that was your excuse.
If only you had loved me as much as i love you still
I know we'd still be together.
If only...
© Copyright 1999 Jessica Sousa - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 10-09-1999 03:39 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very very sad. I feel your pain. Hang in there.

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Denise
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


2 posted 10-09-1999 03:40 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Yes, if only *sigh*...I like this a lot. Your feelings were expressed very well in this. I am not much a free verse writer myself, but sometimes like you said, you just aren't in rhyming moods, and you did a great job with this free verse.


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~*~ Time erases and rewrites all the lines. What remains is the poetry! ~*~

Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
3 posted 10-09-1999 04:01 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I too, could feel your pain and longing.....very good read BEW

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May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Blue Eyed Wanderer
Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 84
Rhode Island, US


4 posted 10-09-1999 09:57 PM       View Profile for Blue Eyed Wanderer   Email Blue Eyed Wanderer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blue Eyed Wanderer

It's nice to know I have at least a few people on my side. Thanks you guys.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 10-10-1999 12:56 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Very nicely done...one suggestion...don't make this your last attempt at free verse
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


6 posted 10-10-1999 01:04 AM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

Lovely read.
JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


7 posted 10-15-1999 09:01 PM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

This was sad and lovely!

Jenny
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


8 posted 10-16-1999 06:01 AM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

So Sad! Wonderful verse.May you find your hearts true desire.*Hugs*

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


9 posted 05-04-2004 03:22 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

very painful
 
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