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Passions in Poetry

old October poem

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RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


0 posted 10-09-1999 10:39 AM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for RobertB

October

October, how could you leave me so soon?
Here I am standing knee deep in November
it's no longer a Hunter's but a Harvest moon.
October, you're the month I want to remember.

October, your frosty mornings chill me
your sunny afternoons warm my face
and your painted hillsides thrill me
but somehow you've left without a trace.

Childhood memories come back to me when
the maple turns its leaves from green to red
October bicycle rides among the leaves and then
the bike is parked and I look for the sled.


RB

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

[This message has been edited by RobertB (edited 10-10-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 RobertB - All Rights Reserved
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


1 posted 10-09-1999 01:32 PM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Nice poem,but I think it would flow better with some line breaks.For example:


October, how could you leave me so soon?
Here I am standing knee deep in November
it's no longer a Hunter's but a Harvest moon.
October, you're the month I want to remember.

October, your frosty mornings chill me
your sunny afternoons warm my face
and your painted hillsides thrill me
but somehow you've left without a trace.

Childhood memories come back to me when
the maple turns its leaves from green to red
October bicycle rides among the leaves and then
the bike is parked and I look for the sled




------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 10-09-1999 01:40 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful!

------------------
Denise
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


3 posted 10-09-1999 01:57 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

I love it, Rob!

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


4 posted 10-09-1999 02:02 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

You say that you know my soul.....Well you know how to touch mine. Lovely piece my friend.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 10-10-1999 12:32 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Oh nice...I love October
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


6 posted 10-10-1999 07:54 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

'Tis my favorite month and it is well portrayed here.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvilŠ

Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
7 posted 10-10-1999 09:12 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

very lovely Robert.....wonderful imagery......

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


8 posted 10-10-1999 09:16 AM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

thanks guys...October is magical isn't it??

Dragoness....in its original format the poem was separated just exactly where you thought it should be,,,for some reason when I put it over in Word and then posted it I removed the spacing....who knows...but I agree with you.

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


9 posted 10-10-1999 09:32 AM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

I think I'm getting quite addicted to your way of writing. You translate something I feel in me, but seem unable to put into words. I'll be on the lookout for more of your work. : )
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


10 posted 10-10-1999 10:29 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I really do like this a lot.... and I'm still looking for September...
Elizabeth
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Posts 7296
America the beautiful


11 posted 10-10-1999 01:46 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

You know, it kind of reminded me of "October" by Robert Frost.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

RobertB
Senior Member
since 09-26-1999
Posts 1121
Champaign, IL


12 posted 10-10-1999 04:03 PM       View Profile for RobertB   Email RobertB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RobertB

never read Robert Frost....heard of him though!!! Maybe I should look at his "October"

------------------
if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


13 posted 05-04-2004 04:03 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

and it's my birthday month
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


14 posted 11-12-2007 03:18 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
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