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Passions in Poetry

A response to Poet deVine's Personal Ad

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LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 10-08-1999 09:46 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

deVine

If I was single an unattached,
I'd be tempted to answer your ad.

I too love a romantic fire
(Be careful long John, you rotten liar.)
I also love long slow walks,
(Geeze, I hope we don't hafta talk.)

I'm also model for the magazine GQ.
(Oh Gawd! If we meet, what'll I do?)
And you'd love what's in my heart,
(except for that bad and twisted part).

As you'd learn, I'm smart as a whip,
(Whips? My psychiatrist says get over it.)
I know all about bathroom sinks,
(I've seen plenty from too many drinks).

I drive a Porsche, I've been blessed.
(I'm unemployed, my Ford was repossessed).
Of course I'm not a soda jerk!
(My Gawd, quick, lie about work!)

And I have more than a ton of money
(I borrowed it all from past honeys).
So my money's my own rest assured.
(I hope I can borrow some of yours).

I would need more than a roll in the sack,
(Two or three rolls, then I'd not be back.)
But alas, I'm taken. Don't be sad,
You might find another winner with your personal ad.
© Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
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Hurricane Alley


1 posted 10-08-1999 09:54 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine



I fear sir, the best are taken
you are one, if I'm not mistaken
There seems to be a lack you see
of men able to handle one such as me

I ask not for your money or fame
rich or poor, I'll love you the same
Ugly, well, don't bother me so
I'd even settle for a little 'toe!

But he too is not free to take
so other plans I must make
I plan to search and not give up
(my plastic man now, I must blow up!)


LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


2 posted 10-08-1999 09:59 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

*perk* Blow???? lol - nice riposte
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


3 posted 10-08-1999 10:50 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

ROFLMAO...Devine, don't blow too hard.
LJA, have you no mercy? LOL

Devine, you'll find him!
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


4 posted 10-08-1999 11:17 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

And LongJohn suggests I took alot of LSD in my teens?...Geesch! You are a very sick individual. Yanno that LJA?.....Let me know if Lorelei runs out of valium or xanax man.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


5 posted 10-08-1999 11:32 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

ROFLMAO!!!
Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


6 posted 10-08-1999 11:54 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Tanks LongJohn and Devine for stating my day off with a huge laugh.



------------------
Michael Anderson

When God puts a tear in your eye,
He puts a rainbow in your heart.


LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


7 posted 10-08-1999 01:29 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

I owe it all to lil deVine. Thank you for your encouragement.
Mr. Cucumber
Junior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 21


8 posted 10-08-1999 04:18 PM       View Profile for Mr. Cucumber   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Mr. Cucumber

This was a wonderful poem, Long John. Do you think you could write one for me that I could share with this cute little turnip two rows over?
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


9 posted 10-08-1999 04:29 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Ha ha ha...that's all I need to say.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."

"Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near..."

Justin Thyme
Member
since 09-13-99
Posts 228
Oz


10 posted 10-08-1999 05:15 PM       View Profile for Justin Thyme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Justin Thyme

Justin Thyme, you wrote an ad
and ol' Long John responded.
But now you're with your blow up boy!
(The one you have absconded)

The ad you placed was personal --
no deVine intervention,
But if you hang with blow up boys
what was the ad's intention?

The answer man was not your type
and so you chose some plastic?
The ones that answer classifieds
ALL say they are fantastic!

So, when you're through with Plastic Bob,
do you think you'll want another?
I think I'll save the personals,
Justin Kace I see my brother!


hehehe
-Justin T.
LJA'sLorelei54
Junior Member
since 09-24-1999
Posts 19
Gaithersburg, MD


11 posted 10-08-1999 07:17 PM       View Profile for LJA'sLorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LJA'sLorelei54

Lets see if I can fill in the gaps ole' long john left out of his ad:
First of all he's not unattached, so thats one point in his favor. #2 yep..he loves romantic fires #3...long slow walks? nope...you oughta try to do the mall with him! so far 2-1 #4 model? hmmmm something like out of modeling clay? hmmmm 2 to 2 now #5 smart?(brilliant) yep and #6 sinks? I've seen him fix a couple, so now its 4 to 2 #7 drive a porsche? nope..never! #8 a soda jerk? well, the second part is correct..he can be a "jerk" at times #8 a ton of money? does that include what he owes? LOL I think the score now is 4 to 5 and re: #9 the money being "all mine"...for a short time, it might be (4 to 6) and last but not least about #10 and the rolls in the sack..I'll give him a couple of extra points on that one and even out the score, and say he is a winner !
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


12 posted 10-08-1999 08:39 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Thanks for the laughter everyone!

------------------
Denise
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


13 posted 10-08-1999 08:44 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I begin to believe the 'perfect' man does not exist!
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


14 posted 10-08-1999 09:23 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

DeVine one, pardon my interjection,
Your problem is..you seek perfection.
You bemoan the fact that no one can
Fulfill the role of "perfect" man.

The fact is, we are all just human,
No "perfect" man or "perfect" woman.
We all have faults and failures, too
And how we act is up to you.

You want a man who stays at home?
Delete from him the wish to roam.
Fix the sink or set the table?
Show him that you think he's able.

A man to keep your sex life full?
Keep yourself desireable.
A man who makes a decent living?
Make him feel the need for giving.

Don't start out with some mystic plan
To seek and find the "perfect" man.
Just be the best that YOU can be...
The "perfect" man will come to thee.

And, if he doesn't, what's the cost?
What's the worst thing you have lost?
You've made yourself the very best.
The loss is theirs. Forget the rest.
Pufalove
Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 120
Houston, Tx. USA


15 posted 10-08-1999 09:44 PM       View Profile for Pufalove   Email Pufalove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pufalove

Balladeer, how can I top that. I was going to say there is a lot of blowin' goin' on, but then you had that to go and get serious.

I agree with each and every word you say
Sadly it doesn't always work that way
For even though you're the best you can be
Many men are blind, the you they cannot see!

Lorelei(someone told me your're naughty and nice, must be lots of fun)

Oh, and Johnny, great funny reading (and you roll in the sack?????!!!! too much!)



------------------
O all ye powers that he implanted, Arise, keep silence no more; put forth the strength that he hath granted, your noblest work is to adore.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


16 posted 10-09-1999 12:10 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Laughing here....very nice one Long John, not sure what was funnier though, your poem or all the replies
Poet deVine
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17 posted 10-09-1999 07:02 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Balladeer, I know there is no such thing as a perfect man! Though I think some of the poets here are very close to being perfect (including you and Toe of course). Thanks for the poem, there is so much truth in it. We all sometimes seek perfection in a mate when we are so much less than perfect ourselves.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


18 posted 10-09-1999 07:54 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, excuse me devine, but this is my poem topic so you have to compliment me each time you post. I'm sure it was an oversight so you are for given this time.
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


19 posted 10-09-1999 11:58 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Excuse me Sir LngJhnAg...I thought you knew my appreciation and admiration of you and your cleverness filled each line I wrote. I shall endeavor to make it up to you somehow. Let me think...how can I make it up to you.....hmmmmmm..perhaps in the Adult Forum!
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


20 posted 10-09-1999 01:48 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

LongJohn-cover your eyes for a minute! OK-
GREAT POEM BALLADEER! OK, you can open your eyes now, LJ!

------------------
Denise
U K Hero
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


21 posted 10-09-1999 04:14 PM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

excellent... well thought out loved it.
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
22 posted 10-09-1999 05:54 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

wonderful.....too much fun!!!!

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Alwye
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Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


23 posted 10-09-1999 10:10 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Thanks for the laughter (and now the sideache) everyone!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

Wise is he who faces the frailty of man with the strength of an understanding heart. -- Daniel L. Miller


 
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