Ala bam a
Reply to personal ad above:
Hi, my name is Toerag, just an average guy seeking a Goddess such as yourself. I'm about 6' tall, weigh about 180 pounds of solid steel. Savant, epicure, Rhodes Scholar, M.D., PhD., VIP, and LSD. Member of Mensa, 33rd degree Freemason, speaks seven languages fluently. I dabble in Rocket Science, quantum physics and in spare time devised a unified field theory. Have authored 15 books, 87 published articles, 23 screenplays, and 114 patents, one a fully functional pocket time machine (batteries not included), Like to paint expressionist watercolors, write haiku poetry, and have composed 11 major symphonies (plus one opera in Bulgarian). Trained in Jungian psychology, lectures on Zen, practices safe alchemy. Awarded Medal Of Honor for bravery in combat.
Climbed Mt. Everest, swam the English Channel and was knighted by the Queen. Quite active in charity work with disabled cheerleaders, performed Hamlet, met Elvis, attended Woodstock. Claimed Nobel Prize in medicine, played the Grand Ol' Opry, and sold out Madison Square Garden. Beatified by the church. A par golfer, (yes, even better than LongJohn), Enjoys ballroom dancing, enthusiastic skier, scuba diver and collector of 14th century Moravian tapestries. Direct decendant of Charlemagne, hung like a Equus Cabullus, and no male pattern baldness. Black belt in karate, loves children and small furry creatures, recycles, doesn't smoke, drink, swear, snore, or leave the toilet seat up. Fully committed to monogamy and family values. Cherishes intimacy. Devoted to maintaining long term relationships through good communication. Not ashamed to ask for directions when lost. Compulsive house cleaner, does own laundry, never watches football. A Master in the study of the Kama Sutra and not adverse to providing maximum gratification with just a touch of discipline. Make a mean latte too. Loves romantic walks along moonlit beaches, weeps at sunsets, and dreams of the day when humanity can live together in communal peace and enlightenment. Naturally, being a hip guy like I am has left me little time for amorous socializing, hence this communique. It is my sincerest hope that I be considered worthy the attention of a warm, kind-hearted nymphomaniac such as yourself to share my humble existence. So be not shy you sweet young cyber-maiden, send hither your tender e-mail that we might share the bliss of sublime, rapturous interface....ya hear?