Balladeer's Par (LongJohn's Scar!)
He looked outside to a sun-shiny day,
So LongJohn headed out to the golf course.
Something seemed to be pushing him that way,
Yeah, almost an irresistible force.
Well, he soon arrived there, and sure enough,
Befell his old nemesis, Balladeer!
In the making, this was of truly the stuff -
Only Fate and Justice could engineer.
Primed for revenge, he spoke to Balladeer,
"I got five hundred dollars, says you suck!"
Well, Balladeer just grinned from ear to ear,
As he grabbed the golf clubs out of his truck.
Well, they each hit a few bogies and pars,
The game had turned out to be really tight.
They had raised the stakes from money to cars,
Before the eighteenth tee had come to sight.
Balladeer found himself down by one shot,
And LongJohn had hit by far his best drive.
Everyone watching held there breath in thought -
A perfect shot MIGHT keep Bally alive.
LongJohn, watching in anticipation,
Very well new victory to be near...
Longing to compound Bally's frustration,
Threw a fake cough with a snicker and sneer.
But with the club drawn back, Bally still swung,
And everyone here knows how tension mounts...
Well, the club slipped right out and pain was wrung,
Coming to hit LongJohn just where it counts.
The ambulance arrived and Bally spoke,
"I really hate to see you have to quit."
Adding, "I really liked your coughing joke,"
(grabbing Johns keys), "by the way - you forfeit."
The operation wasn't serious,
A little snip there, a little stitch here.
But, indeed, all of us are curious...
How will he do without sex for a year?
There is a moral for all of us here,
Let me reiterate before I'm Gone...
Don't ever bet against ol' Balladeer,
Lest ye end up like poor "Not So Long" John.
When God puts a tear in your eye,
He puts a rainbow in your heart.
[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 10-07-1999).]