My dear Balladeer I can not take credit for
this artistic piece of work...it was sent
to me from someone called the "Bug-eyed" Phantom.
There're short ones, thin ones,
lanky ones, tall ones;
Then there're hairy ones,
bald ones, and some
with scars of all shaps and sorts.
Some you never see,
some are covered year round
and others show up in sports.
Some are tan, some are white, some are inbetween
some show off in sandals;
then there are those with socks,
ya know what I mean?
There are those attached to a tight bum
and those are the ones that look so good,
coming to you or walking from.
But for all the bums in all the land
apparently there is just one man,
who's turned the eyes and every girl's heart
when in shorts he dresses the part.
I've heard exquisite tales of him,
his limbs are quite well known!
However, for my eyes, I fear
His knees will never be shown.
But there is one such lassie,
her heart does pitter pat,
when her Bugman comes to call
but nay, never on his lap she sat.
Then again, shes does her level best
to keep the bugs comin' home,
she herds them in, one by one...
and nay, does not let them out to roam.
For her Bug Man, oh her Bug Man,
he comes calling in short shorts
and whisking 'round with spraying gun
he clears her of bugs from aft to port.
She relishes the times when some
bending needs to be done;
and with less than ever bashful eyes,
she points to another bug for quick demise.
Now once it is all over,
and Bug Man leaves the home
she wanders to her computer,
and to all let it be known...
That Bug man has come again,
her house is now bug-free
but soon she'll shoo in many more
just to see his hairy knees.