How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #3 Archive
 The faithful
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

The faithful (a villanelle for Ms DeVine's challenge)

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 10-04-1999 04:34 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Skyfyre

The faithful

A thousand voices raise their desperate cry,
Existence chokes them like a bitter pill;
Impartial heavens tender no reply.

Though faith would be so easy to deny,
They beg the mercy of some greater Will:
A thousand voices raise their desperate cry.

They whisper supplications to the sky
As though their prayers might fresh resolve instill;
Impartial heavens tender no reply.

The hope they claim, their haunted eyes belie;
A vain pretense, though wrought with practiced skill:
A thousand voices raise their desperate cry.

Enwrapped in blind devotion's shroud, they die;
For faith cannot their empty bellies fill.
A thousand voices raise their desperate cry:
Impartial heavens tender no reply.


------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")




[This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 10-04-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


1 posted 10-04-1999 07:23 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Jeez, this thing isn't THAT bad, is it..? I mean, I know it isn't a warm-and-fuzzy, but if it is that bad, I'd like to know why..? Criticism, please..?

Maybe I should ask someone to move it to Critical Analysis..?

Nocht

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 10-04-1999 07:56 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Great form, good flow, and rhyme. I just have a problem with the message. But it is a very well done poem!

------------------
Denise
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


3 posted 10-04-1999 08:05 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

dsnyder, thank you for your reply.

I had a feeling when I worte this that it would not get a warm reception. Allow me to be the first to agree with you; I have a problem with the message too; that is a great deal of the reason why I wrote the poem. I am a Christian, and when I see others reduced to such hopelessness, it breaks my heart.

The problem is, I believe that a great deal of the responsibility for easing the suffering of such persons lies in the hands of myself and my fellow Christians, and it is my opinion that this God-given duty is not being done as it should be. To use a tired cliche, many of us "talk the talk but don't walk the walk."

If anyone else who reads this doesn't like the message, I understand; although I did happen to write it in the form of a villanelle in order to meet Ms DeVine's challenge, my main reason for posting this here was to put the call out for service on behalf of those who need it so desperately.

Thanks for putting up with me;

Nocht
Starith
Member
since 08-18-99
Posts 181
Leesburg, FL USA


4 posted 10-04-1999 08:13 PM       View Profile for Starith   Email Starith   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Starith

Well I see you're stirring up trobule again Nocth...LOL...just kidding. The message was dark...but I liked the form and rhyme. Your explanation at the end of the replies did help me to understand it a little better though. Great poem.

Star

------------------
We are only truly apperciated after we are no more!

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 10-04-1999 08:22 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Yes, I agree that the "Harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few". I, too, am a Christian. I never felt comfortable talking to strangers about my faith. (I guess I had other persuasions pushed down my throat and I don't find anything attractive about forcing my beliefs on others.) I hope that my life and my writings bring a message of hope to the ones who are seeking it. And again, your poem was very well done!


------------------
Denise
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


6 posted 10-04-1999 09:55 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Nocht.....I personally have no specific religion...I am full of beliefs from many different religions and just my own ideas...... but it seems to me the poem is more about the faithful following a lost cause than the explanation you offered......especially the last stanza.....maybe you could help me understand a bit more?

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


7 posted 10-04-1999 10:05 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Sure, Sys, I would be glad to clarify ...

The poem WAS written to show the faithful, seemingly abandoned by God. Without launching into a lengthy philosophical debate, I will say that my belief is that God no longer directly involves himself in the affairs of men, but trusts in His followers to perform His will. Which, incidentally, includes providing comfort to the downtrodden. If such a person of faith found himself in such a situation, while his fellow man went on about their business, pretending not to see, it could very easily appear that God was uncaring, because "heaven tendered no reply", that reply essentially being a helping hand from his mortal brothers.

This poem is written from the point of view of those who have lost all their hope; the hope that we, fellow humans and children of God, should have been careful to defend.

speech over ...

Nocht
Skyfyre will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #3 >> The faithful Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors