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Open Poetry #3
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Blue Eyed Wanderer
Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 84
Rhode Island, US

0 posted 1999-10-03 04:23 PM


Where have you been
Throughout the years?
You've never once seen me
Shed a few tears.

But little would you know,
Every night I'd cry.
Wishing you were there
And wanting to die.

How often do you think of me?
Do you think of me at all?
How much do I mean to you?
Probably nothing; you never call.

Where did you go?
And why did you leave?
I create my own answers
And try to believe

That you once did care
About your little girl
With her beautiful face
And pretty curls.

Night after night,
I'd look up at the stars;
Wishing that someday
I'd be freed of my scars.

My scars were not normal;
They weren't on the skin.
They are inside my heart
Where they shouldn't have been.

"I'll call you this week"
That's what you'd always say.
Then I'd wait by the phone
Day after day.

Sometimes I wonder
How it would be
If you ever came back
Just to see me.

Do I want you back?
I'm not quite sure,
Because I know in a second
You'd be back out that door.

Well, now I've accepted
That you'll never be there
That you'll never be back
And that you never will care.

So just answer me now,
And answer me true;
What on earth did I do
To deserve this from you?

------------------
Anytime you try to win everything, you must be willing to lose everything. -Larry Csonka

*~Jessica~*

© Copyright 1999 Jessica Sousa - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 1999-10-03 04:30 PM


Very sad and beautifully written.

------------------
Denise

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 1999-10-03 06:47 PM


So sad, but beautifully done. We never expect our parents to let us down, and if they do, it's all the more unbelievable..

------------------
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny, compared to what lies within us.
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)


Blue Eyed Wanderer
Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 84
Rhode Island, US
3 posted 1999-10-03 07:51 PM


Writing this one helped me get out a lot of stuff about my father. Thanks you guys!
redwriter1
Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480
Franklin, TN
4 posted 1999-10-03 08:13 PM


very nicely done. I'm right there with you.. someday soon I will post again my song.. "do you remember me".. we are so close in our thoughts... thank you for sharing..
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 1999-10-03 08:27 PM


Always, always remember that is was nothing you did! It is hard for a child to believe but you are not to blame for his leaving. He was the one that could not handle what ever it was. The responiblity, the intimacy...what ever it was. A child is innocent and the adult is the one to blame. My children are in a similar situation and I try hard everyday to let them know that I love them and they did nothing to run their father away. You are beautiful and special. Always remember that!
Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX
6 posted 1999-10-03 11:22 PM


You did a great job on this. I too, have
children and had to watch them suffer as
they watched out the window waiting for
their father that never showed. It use
to break my heart.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert




Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
7 posted 1999-10-03 11:40 PM


Such sadness in this yet, I'm glad to know that it was a healing process. I echo Marilyn in saying that you must always remember it was NOT your fault.
Pufalove
Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 119
Houston, Tx. USA
8 posted 1999-10-04 05:27 AM


This is so well written. It has a such a nice flow and is filled with depth. Thank goodness we have 2 fathers. Even though we missed the one that should have been there, the main one has always been there. Take comfort in that!

------------------
O all ye powers that he implanted, Arise, keep silence no more; put forth the strength that he hath granted, your noblest work is to adore.


Blue Eyed Wanderer
Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 84
Rhode Island, US
9 posted 1999-10-04 06:54 AM


Thanks everyone! Marilyn--it took me a while to realize that, but now I truly believe that he is to blame instead of me. I've been able to forgive him, but still it'll always leave it's mark in my heart. Thanks again everyone!
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
10 posted 2001-12-06 11:08 PM


This is deeply sad but, written ever sooo beautifully.  

Bridgette  

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