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Passions in Poetry

Sailing To You (My first and probably only pitiful attempt at a sestina)

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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


0 posted 10-02-1999 02:29 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Sailing To You (My attempt at a Sestina)

For years it seems Iíve been stuck here
Adrift at sea, no sign of shore
Vision clouded by thick, dark mist
No gentle wind to catch my sail
I long to feel your warm embrace
And have you come to me tonight

I want to give my love tonight
Darling with you beside me here
My hands reach out to your embrace
Like a drowning man reaches towards the shore
Youíll guide my way when I set sail
Be my light house beacon in the mist

I can see you through clearing mist
You're ever so close to me tonight
Iíve loosed my anchor to set sail
Across the waters I'll bring you here
Landing safely upon my shore
Gently sailing in my embrace

Caught up in our loves embrace
Wrapped gently in the oceans mist
Weíll find ourselves upon the shore
In the confines of my dreams tonight
You and I, weíre together here
And on loves gentle wings we sail

My heart beats strong, itís taken sail
Overwhelmed in your warm embrace
Iíve traveled in my dreams to meet here
Iíve lost myself inside the mist
And found myself with you tonight
No longer longing for the shore

Iíve landed safe upon your shore
Iíve taken flight and given sail
To meet you in my dreams tonight
Encaptured in nights sweet embrace
Surrounded by the seas cool mist
Iíll close my eyes to find you here

Together in my dreams weíre here
And in the early morning mist
We become one in loves embrace

------------------
It is better to be silent and be considered a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.



[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 10-03-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


1 posted 10-02-1999 02:43 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

The format is excellent and well done. Your choice of content is understandable and well written. Your sestina likes me much.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©

Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
2 posted 10-02-1999 02:50 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

absolutely beautiful Hoot........

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
johnt300
Member
since 09-12-99
Posts 215
san diego, ca.


3 posted 10-02-1999 02:57 AM       View Profile for johnt300   Email johnt300   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for johnt300

Excellent! I can't say anymore than excellent! I hope you set sail very soon! Until then...
Tyson
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


4 posted 10-02-1999 03:39 AM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Prefect! Absolutly prefect!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 10-02-1999 04:38 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wow, thank you all, I really wasn't too pleased with this, thanks for your replies
Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


6 posted 10-02-1999 04:48 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

IMHO, the only pitiful thing is that this is your last one!
Well done Ruth, especially knowing how hard this format is first hand!
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


7 posted 10-02-1999 08:13 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Ruth, It's time to take center stage for the applause is taking place, and I hear an echo chanting encore. This is excellent.
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


8 posted 10-02-1999 09:32 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

You succeeded! This is good - what do you think of 'form' poetry? I don't like the restriction!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


9 posted 10-02-1999 11:56 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Christopher, thanks very much for your kind reply

Lost Dreamer, I would be glad to if I felt I deserved the applause, but thank you

Poet, would "I hate it" be too strong...LOL. I am not pleased with this poem, so I must say I don't like form poetry. You are correct in the fact it places too many restrictions on one. This is not how I write poetry, my poems just come natural, this was probably the most unnatural thing I have ever done. I am going to try a few more forms though, just to satisfy my curiosity
hoot_owl_rn will be notified of replies
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