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Passions in Poetry

Drowning.......(comments welcome.)

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Moonshine
Member
since 10-01-1999
Posts 269
Australia


0 posted 10-01-1999 11:35 PM       View Profile for Moonshine   Email Moonshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Moonshine's Home Page   View IP for Moonshine

Hi, my name is Moonshine. I am new here
but really really like this forum. Here is a poem that I penned earlier this year, I don't know if it's up to the standard that you guys here are used to.......guess I'm gonna find out. It's called " Drowning."

I want to be naked,
And run on the beach,
Without feeling your eyes,

I want to feel the fresh sea air,
Have it weave all about me,
Without feeling your breath,

I want the soft ocean waves,
To gently wash over me,
Without feeling your touch,

I want the chill sea water,
To wrap itself around me,
Without feeling you inside,

I want the vast black ocean,
To heave and swalow me up,
Because you won't be there.

© Copyright 1999 Jen - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


1 posted 10-02-1999 12:03 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

An excellent piece of writing
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
2 posted 10-02-1999 01:25 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I like this alot Moonshine......a good piece.....

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Moonshine
Member
since 10-01-1999
Posts 269
Australia


3 posted 10-02-1999 03:50 AM       View Profile for Moonshine   Email Moonshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Moonshine's Home Page   View IP for Moonshine

Thanx for your encouragement Pepper and Hootowl.

Huggs,
Moonshine.......
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


4 posted 10-02-1999 05:19 AM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Great poem....there are no standards you haveto worry about here

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


5 posted 10-02-1999 06:26 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Moonshine, this is an excellent piece,You have expressed yourself well. Welcome to Passions

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Moonshine
Member
since 10-01-1999
Posts 269
Australia


6 posted 10-02-1999 10:21 PM       View Profile for Moonshine   Email Moonshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Moonshine's Home Page   View IP for Moonshine

Dear Systematic Decay:

Thanx for your reply, is good to get +ve feedback. Love your quote ( Billy Corgan and SP have awesome music)

Dear Dark Angel:

Thanx for your reply and warm welcome to PIP. I hope to post more of my poems one day.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


7 posted 10-02-1999 10:34 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Moonshine,I look forward to reading more of your works

------------------
What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


8 posted 10-03-1999 06:22 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Very good blank verse you have done. Indeed, welcome to Passions.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvilŠ

Moonshine
Member
since 10-01-1999
Posts 269
Australia


9 posted 10-04-1999 04:44 AM       View Profile for Moonshine   Email Moonshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Moonshine's Home Page   View IP for Moonshine

Thanx for your comment Dream Evil - it is always nice to get +ve feedback. I like this forum!
Moonshine will be notified of replies
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