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Passions in Poetry

Forlorn Lulu

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The Unknown Poet
Junior Member
since 09-25-1999
Posts 42
Somewhere West of No-Where


0 posted 10-01-1999 07:40 PM       View Profile for The Unknown Poet   Email The Unknown Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Unknown Poet

Forlorn Lulu

Forlorn for Lorne, tattered and torn,
For Lorne had left her blue.
Lulu had sworn her love for Lorne,
For Lorne's love had seemed true

True, too, Lulu before was blue,
Due, true, to shrew and scorn.
Forworn, Lulu then went cuckoo,
Too blew to mourn for Lorne.

Woo hoo what do the new Lulu?
Forsworn of love for Lorne.
Knew to be blew and quite cuckoo,
Lulu lies blue, forlorn.
© Copyright 1999 The Unknown Poet - All Rights Reserved
Justin Thyme
Member
since 09-13-99
Posts 228
Oz


1 posted 10-01-1999 08:00 PM       View Profile for Justin Thyme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Justin Thyme

Huh?

You're style reminds me, amazingly enough, of a dear friend of mine over here in the 'stute by the name of Vince.... any relation? Could you tell me please, por favor?

I mean, poor forlorn.


hehehe
Justin T.

Justin Kace
Member
since 09-13-99
Posts 96
Oz


2 posted 10-01-1999 08:09 PM       View Profile for Justin Kace   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Justin Kace

Justin Thyme, Lu mourns not Lorne
He'll face her wrath and scorn
He'll rue the day that he was born
And left her there forlorn

Revenge on Lorne she has forsworn
He'd best be well forewarned
Lorne dare not toot his little horn
Lu's sent his butt airborne
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


3 posted 10-01-1999 08:16 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

hey, this was very interesting to read, but i quite liked it

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Justin Thyme
Member
since 09-13-99
Posts 228
Oz


4 posted 10-01-1999 08:53 PM       View Profile for Justin Thyme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Justin Thyme

Hey Saxoness, what's that mean it was very interesting to read *BUT* you liked it? Does that mean you usually like stuff that's not interesting?

LOL... hehehe... just curious....... ok, here's a rhyme for you:

Saxoness read a poem today
written on the net.
An unknown poet wrote it.
Something she couldn't forget.
The Justin Twins responded,
then Saxoness did say
that she thought it was interesting,
but but liked it anyway!!!!!!


LOL... j/k....

oh, whoops, not jk, i mean,

JT
hehehe
desperado
Member
since 05-24-99
Posts 361
FT Hood,Tx


5 posted 10-01-1999 10:12 PM       View Profile for desperado   Email desperado   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for desperado

I like the way you had the rhyme built in the way it was. (can't remember what it was called though) it was a little difficult to read though with all the repetetive syllables, but once you get over that it gets fairly easy to understand. I found it funny-serious (funny in the way it was presented and yet the message was serious) otherwise, I thought it was an interesting read. keep it up mr. unknown *wink*
The Unknown Poet
Junior Member
since 09-25-1999
Posts 42
Somewhere West of No-Where


6 posted 10-01-1999 10:27 PM       View Profile for The Unknown Poet   Email The Unknown Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Unknown Poet

Thanks, Des, to think I wrote something they actually have a name for is scary in itself, though.

the Unknown
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


7 posted 10-01-1999 11:30 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Repetition of a vowel sound within a verse is called "Assonance"..... (Alliteration is repeated consonants)... and rhyme within a line is appropriately called "Internal Rhyme"..

[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 10-02-1999).]
The Unknown Poet
Junior Member
since 09-25-1999
Posts 42
Somewhere West of No-Where


8 posted 10-01-1999 11:55 PM       View Profile for The Unknown Poet   Email The Unknown Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Unknown Poet

Uhmmm, Hey Des, did she just call me and "ass"?
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
9 posted 10-02-1999 02:58 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

very amusing UP......I enjoyed the read.......

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Nurse Crachet
Member
since 09-27-1999
Posts 321
They know where I am!


10 posted 10-02-1999 11:47 AM       View Profile for Nurse Crachet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nurse Crachet

Unknown, I knew you were here sneaking around, you have to remember to shut down when your done, or you give yourself away. I have to say though that now I have seen the interesting side of you, that seems to go un-noticed around here. Can you meet me in my office for tea, and discussion time let's say around noon Sunday.
Justin Kace
Member
since 09-13-99
Posts 96
Oz


11 posted 10-02-1999 12:10 PM       View Profile for Justin Kace   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Justin Kace

Is Nurse Crachet LuLu, do ya think???
The Unknown Poet
Junior Member
since 09-25-1999
Posts 42
Somewhere West of No-Where


12 posted 10-02-1999 02:11 PM       View Profile for The Unknown Poet   Email The Unknown Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Unknown Poet

Hmmm, enticing offer Cratchet but sure as i do the little men in white will show up and -wham! I'm waking up in the rubber room again...

Justin Kase, now that you mention it she does seem quite forlorn of late...makes one wonder???

the unknown
Nurse Crachet
Member
since 09-27-1999
Posts 321
They know where I am!


13 posted 10-02-1999 02:32 PM       View Profile for Nurse Crachet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nurse Crachet

Unknown, the rubber room has been occupied for days now, and that has me puzzled, cause that's where the twins have been, so how are they posting, and responding here? Did you slip them a laptop? Not to worry we can discuss this over our tea at noon. The white coats have the day off.
Mrs.Bigglesworth
New Member
since 10-02-1999
Posts 7
kent


14 posted 10-02-1999 04:00 PM       View Profile for Mrs.Bigglesworth   Email Mrs.Bigglesworth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mrs.Bigglesworth

I liked it! The people in here are soooo clever and quick, I hope to pick up a few tips.and no I'm not your third grade teacher-I'm 17 and from England!
Thanks for your comment too.


------------------
*jess*
Nurse Crachet
Member
since 09-27-1999
Posts 321
They know where I am!


15 posted 10-04-1999 08:18 PM       View Profile for Nurse Crachet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nurse Crachet

Unknown Poet, seems this is my only means for contact as it stands now since you are playing the disappearing act. I hope your not in the attic again chasing those rats. I wanted to have a discussion with you on Sunday, but you did not show, I waited there until 4pm. If any of you know where Unknown is please tell him I'm looking for him.
The Unknown Poet
Junior Member
since 09-25-1999
Posts 42
Somewhere West of No-Where


16 posted 10-04-1999 08:26 PM       View Profile for The Unknown Poet   Email The Unknown Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Unknown Poet

Ha! Crathcet, you will never catch me! I'm free! I'm free!


the unknown
Nurse Crachet
Member
since 09-27-1999
Posts 321
They know where I am!


17 posted 10-06-1999 05:19 PM       View Profile for Nurse Crachet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nurse Crachet

never ever under estimate my abilities. I have my spies you know, there hot on your trail as we speak.
 
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