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Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 1999-09-29 10:22 PM


Oh, my soul aches
My heart cries.
To need something
Just to breath.
To feel your touch.
Kiss your lips.
I am lost,
Find me in this fog.
Take me away.
Throw away these ties.
Take me,
Where the moon never sleeps.
Where hearts riegn.
Touch me.
Feel me.
Love me.


I tried..I hope I succeeded Isis. I don't think I like free form.


© Copyright 1999 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
1 posted 1999-09-29 11:03 PM


I thought it lovely, Marilyn. I think the lines
Take me
where the moon never sleeps

quite enchanting

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 1999-09-29 11:08 PM


Thankyou caroline. This is my first try at free verse. When you are used to rhyming it is difficult not to.
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
3 posted 1999-09-29 11:48 PM


Great job!

------------------
It matters not how strait the gate;
How charged with punishments the scroll;
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
--W.E. Henley
Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954/



Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 1999-09-29 11:50 PM


Thankyou Tara. Now if only Isis would get her butt here to read her challenges!..lol
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 1999-09-29 11:55 PM


I don't know what you were trying, Marilyn, but you succeeded.Oh, did you succeed!
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 1999-09-30 12:01 PM


Balladeer...from you that is high praise indeed. Isis challenged me to do free verse. I have never written in this style and it was interesting. My first try was a flop and I trashed it. LOL
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
7 posted 1999-09-30 12:01 PM


I liked it!!!

Keep the free form coming!!

Bridgette

------------------
"It may take a boy to turn a girl's head, but it takes a man to turn a girl's heart"



Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 1999-09-30 12:02 PM


Thanks Bridget I will try.
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
9 posted 1999-09-30 03:37 AM


Tada!! Wonderful job!! It's scary when you are not comfortable trying free form. I was so hesitant trying it too. You passed with flying colours. It's beautiful! And don't you feel better for trying something new? I did, at least.
If you like we can challenge each other!!
I'm up for it if you are!!
Well done friend..

------------------
A hero is a man who does what he can.
~Isis~
(The Fragile Rose)



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 1999-09-30 08:33 AM


very nicely done

------------------
It is better to be silent and be considered a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
11 posted 1999-11-06 07:08 PM


I think you did a wonderful job, it's a challenge to expand one's wings to soar to new levels.
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
12 posted 1999-11-06 07:36 PM


I liked this a lot too Marilyn. : ) Guess I'll be seeing you in class again soon. : )
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

13 posted 1999-11-06 07:38 PM


I missed this the first time! This is great, Marilyn!

------------------
Denise


Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
14 posted 1999-11-06 09:49 PM


Thanks Lost Dreamer, Munda and Denise. I am so very flattered that someone would go through the pages and pull this back up again. I am humbled.
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606

15 posted 1999-11-06 11:09 PM


Liked this much!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Lilli
Junior Member
since 1999-11-06
Posts 21
Melbourne, Australia
16 posted 1999-11-06 11:15 PM


I thought that was really lovely. And for your first attempt at free verse, it was fantastic! very talented! (and just think, I can't rhyme for anything, so you must have something over me!!!) *grins*

Well Done Marilyn

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
17 posted 1999-11-07 01:27 AM


I like it the second time round too, Maz

------------------
Through poetry my heart and soul truly sing...
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
18 posted 1999-11-07 01:33 AM


Well done!
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