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Passions in Poetry

Yearning - Challenge from Isis

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Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


0 posted 09-29-1999 10:22 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Marilyn

Oh, my soul aches
My heart cries.
To need something
Just to breath.
To feel your touch.
Kiss your lips.
I am lost,
Find me in this fog.
Take me away.
Throw away these ties.
Take me,
Where the moon never sleeps.
Where hearts riegn.
Touch me.
Feel me.
Love me.


I tried..I hope I succeeded Isis. I don't think I like free form.

© Copyright 1999 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


1 posted 09-29-1999 11:03 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

I thought it lovely, Marilyn. I think the lines
Take me
where the moon never sleeps

quite enchanting

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 09-29-1999 11:08 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Thankyou caroline. This is my first try at free verse. When you are used to rhyming it is difficult not to.
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


3 posted 09-29-1999 11:48 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

Great job!

------------------
It matters not how strait the gate;
How charged with punishments the scroll;
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
--W.E. Henley
Visit my poetry website: www.geocities.com/Paris/Musee/9954/


Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


4 posted 09-29-1999 11:50 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Thankyou Tara. Now if only Isis would get her butt here to read her challenges!..lol
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 09-29-1999 11:55 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I don't know what you were trying, Marilyn, but you succeeded.Oh, did you succeed!
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


6 posted 09-30-1999 12:01 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Balladeer...from you that is high praise indeed. Isis challenged me to do free verse. I have never written in this style and it was interesting. My first try was a flop and I trashed it. LOL
Justbleu
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since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


7 posted 09-30-1999 12:01 AM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

I liked it!!!

Keep the free form coming!!

Bridgette

------------------
"It may take a boy to turn a girl's head, but it takes a man to turn a girl's heart"


Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


8 posted 09-30-1999 12:02 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Thanks Bridget I will try.
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


9 posted 09-30-1999 03:37 AM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Tada!! Wonderful job!! It's scary when you are not comfortable trying free form. I was so hesitant trying it too. You passed with flying colours. It's beautiful! And don't you feel better for trying something new? I did, at least.
If you like we can challenge each other!!
I'm up for it if you are!!
Well done friend..

------------------
A hero is a man who does what he can.
~Isis~
(The Fragile Rose)


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 09-30-1999 08:33 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

very nicely done

------------------
It is better to be silent and be considered a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


11 posted 11-06-1999 07:08 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

I think you did a wonderful job, it's a challenge to expand one's wings to soar to new levels.
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


12 posted 11-06-1999 07:36 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

I liked this a lot too Marilyn. : ) Guess I'll be seeing you in class again soon. : )
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


13 posted 11-06-1999 07:38 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I missed this the first time! This is great, Marilyn!

------------------
Denise

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


14 posted 11-06-1999 09:49 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Thanks Lost Dreamer, Munda and Denise. I am so very flattered that someone would go through the pages and pull this back up again. I am humbled.
Watcher666
Senior Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 1630


15 posted 11-06-1999 11:09 PM       View Profile for Watcher666   Email Watcher666   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Watcher666's Home Page   View IP for Watcher666

Liked this much!

------------------
Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.
Lilli
Junior Member
since 11-06-1999
Posts 21
Melbourne, Australia


16 posted 11-06-1999 11:15 PM       View Profile for Lilli   Email Lilli   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lilli

I thought that was really lovely. And for your first attempt at free verse, it was fantastic! very talented! (and just think, I can't rhyme for anything, so you must have something over me!!!) *grins*

Well Done Marilyn
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


17 posted 11-07-1999 01:27 AM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

I like it the second time round too, Maz

------------------
Through poetry my heart and soul truly sing...
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


18 posted 11-07-1999 01:33 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Well done!
 
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