Toerag's Worst Fear, (Judge Balladeer)
When Toerag went on vacation,
Early Spring of last year.
He got in a situation
Any normal man would fear.
While driving to Ft. Lauderdale,
Some bees hit his windshield.
So starts this agonizing tale
Of injustice revealed.
Sirens were creeping up from behind.
He stopped to let them by.
Was he ever surprised to find
What next came to his eye.
The van slowly behind him stopped,
"Balladeer's Bug Patrol".
With a deep gulp his heart now dropped,
He was in quite the hole.
The officer first looked at Toe,
Then splattered evidence.
Toe stepped away from the car so
A searching could commence.
This officer, quite excellent,
Was prudent in detail.
Under seat insect repellant
Found Toe in Buggar's Jail.
Balladeer, "The exterminator",
Was set to be his judge.
Rumored vicious as a Gator,
Ol' Toerag didn't budge.
He called in his attorney,
A man named Andrew Scott.
Ever pleased to make the journey,
He so thickened the plot.
In court Balladeer charged Toe -
"Non-licensed killing of bugs!"
Asked for a plea, Toe didn't know,
Just offered shoulder shrugs.
The tension was starting to mount,
And Toe began to fear.
Teeming with guilt on every count
In the eyes of Balladeer.
Then Scott asked to approach the bench,
Bally agreed, though pissed...
Then, raised his eyebrows without flinch,
Proclaiming, "Case Dismissed!!!"
Well Andrew looked at Toerag then,
Toe asked, "What did you do?"
"Offered", Scott said, with SHEEPISH grin,
"Tickets to the Petting Zoo".
I could not love except where Death
Was mingling his with Beauty's breath -
Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny
Were stalking between her and me.
[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 10-01-1999).]