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Passions in Poetry

Toerag's Worst Fear, (Judge Balladeer)

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Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


0 posted 10-01-1999 12:42 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Michael

Toerag's Worst Fear, (Judge Balladeer)

When Toerag went on vacation,
Early Spring of last year.
He got in a situation
Any normal man would fear.

While driving to Ft. Lauderdale,
Some bees hit his windshield.
So starts this agonizing tale
Of injustice revealed.

Sirens were creeping up from behind.
He stopped to let them by.
Was he ever surprised to find
What next came to his eye.

The van slowly behind him stopped,
"Balladeer's Bug Patrol".
With a deep gulp his heart now dropped,
He was in quite the hole.

The officer first looked at Toe,
Then splattered evidence.
Toe stepped away from the car so
A searching could commence.

This officer, quite excellent,
Was prudent in detail.
Under seat insect repellant
Found Toe in Buggar's Jail.

Balladeer, "The exterminator",
Was set to be his judge.
Rumored vicious as a Gator,
Ol' Toerag didn't budge.

He called in his attorney,
A man named Andrew Scott.
Ever pleased to make the journey,
He so thickened the plot.

In court Balladeer charged Toe -
"Non-licensed killing of bugs!"
Asked for a plea, Toe didn't know,
Just offered shoulder shrugs.

The tension was starting to mount,
And Toe began to fear.
Teeming with guilt on every count
In the eyes of Balladeer.

Then Scott asked to approach the bench,
Bally agreed, though pissed...
Then, raised his eyebrows without flinch,
Proclaiming, "Case Dismissed!!!"

Well Andrew looked at Toerag then,
Toe asked, "What did you do?"
"Offered", Scott said, with SHEEPISH grin,
"Tickets to the Petting Zoo".

------------------
Michael Anderson

I could not love except where Death
Was mingling his with Beauty's breath -
Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny
Were stalking between her and me.
EAP




[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 10-01-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
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since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


1 posted 10-01-1999 12:54 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

LOLOL

Wonderfully raucous tale my Dark friend.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvilŠ

Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 10-01-1999 01:12 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Now we'll be reading about <b>you</b> next! What will it be?
Dragoness
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since 08-07-99
Posts 525


3 posted 10-01-1999 03:47 AM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Too funny!! LOL

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
caroline
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since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


4 posted 10-01-1999 05:11 AM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

Oh hell...I should have known better than to open this thread with coffee in hand. *LOL*
(anyone know how to get coffee out of a keyboard? heheheh)

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


5 posted 10-01-1999 06:59 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

This was great Michael, you started my day on the right foot. LOL
suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


6 posted 10-01-1999 07:15 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

So Balladeer can be bribed? *G* Hmmmmmmmm...

Great poem, Michael... ROFL!
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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7 posted 10-01-1999 07:26 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Toerag
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since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


8 posted 10-01-1999 07:35 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

This is by far one of the best non fiction poems I've ever encountered! A master piece! Expertly done!
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


9 posted 10-01-1999 08:14 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

ROFL Michael this was great. Did Bally get the tickets to go in the sheep petting zoo?It is his favorite part ya know. THanks for the laugh this morning!
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


10 posted 10-01-1999 09:14 AM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

Oh boy, Michael....not you too!!! LOL!!! You guys will never stop. (Thank goodness ) Thanks for the laugh.
JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


11 posted 10-01-1999 10:27 AM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

* Giggles * To this one Micheal...
So we are not Dark all the time eh?

Jenny
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


12 posted 10-01-1999 10:55 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Thank you, Michael, for bring this hardened (he wishes) criminal's actions to light. Thinks he can just come down here and kill our state bird! It was bad enough what he did to all the oranges in Orlando on the way down! There will be a follow-up to your poem on ABC's "America's Least Wanted" on Monday night.

Wonderful piece of work! I'm glad we are a source of inspiration. But just wait till I find that Andrew Scott. Thos tickets were for the back row!
Saxoness
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since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


13 posted 10-01-1999 04:20 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

lolol,
very funny,
Love the humor, what an epic!

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
14 posted 10-01-1999 04:27 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

ROFLMAO........fantastic

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


15 posted 10-01-1999 04:54 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Oh no, Michael, not you, too! Great job!
Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


16 posted 10-30-1999 07:05 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Hmmm Michael, I was digging back here in the dust, (cough-cough) and found one I missed...LOL...brought a smile to my face!
(and wondering why we haven't read anything about you...)
 
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