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Passions in Poetry

Broken (comments welcome)

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Mystic Essence
Junior Member
since 09-29-1999
Posts 28


0 posted 09-30-1999 08:50 PM       View Profile for Mystic Essence   Email Mystic Essence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mystic Essence

Alone within a swarming, shifting sea of thousands,
Hidden within the shackles of a self imposed mask.
My strength is shattering within my trembling hands,
The stone shell breaking, the rawness now to last.

I've always been the rock upon which you lean,
The flickering candle to light your dark skies.
But can't you see this diamond is loosing its gleam,
These carefree wings can no longer gracefully fly?

The never ending weight of guilt crumbles me,
As upon my weary shoulders, you rest your world.
My soul is drowning in darkly painfilled seas,
And in disbelief I watch everything become unfurled.

This glowing candle is gently fading to black,
For no one truly understands the depth of my pain.
Perhaps one day I shall find the strenth I lack,
But for now, the shadow of my life is crimson stained.

------------------
My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~ Althea Willow, 1999~

[This message has been edited by Mystic Essence (edited 09-30-1999).]

[This message has been edited by Mystic Essence (edited 10-01-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Mystic Essence - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 09-30-1999 08:53 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is absolutely wonderful! The frustration and pain are palpable! Very well done!

------------------
Denise
Mystic Essence
Junior Member
since 09-29-1999
Posts 28


2 posted 09-30-1999 09:04 PM       View Profile for Mystic Essence   Email Mystic Essence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mystic Essence

Thank you very much, dsnyder!

------------------
My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~ Althea Willow, 1999~
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


3 posted 09-30-1999 10:01 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Very well written. The crumbling of the feelings you feel, and the pain. You've done a great job describing it.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


4 posted 09-30-1999 10:09 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Mystic,
Well done, enjoyed the read.
Mystic Essence
Junior Member
since 09-29-1999
Posts 28


5 posted 09-30-1999 10:15 PM       View Profile for Mystic Essence   Email Mystic Essence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mystic Essence

Thank all of you very much for your warm words.

------------------
My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~ Althea Willow, 1999~
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


6 posted 09-30-1999 10:18 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Indeed, a well written piece, Mystic. your pain is vivid though you're not alone.

------------------
Michael Anderson

I could not love except where Death
Was mingling his with Beauty's breath -
Or Hymen, Time, and Destiny
Were stalking between her and me.
EAP





[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 09-30-1999).]
Julie
Senior Member
since 08-20-99
Posts 742
Houston, TX


7 posted 09-30-1999 10:28 PM       View Profile for Julie   Email Julie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Julie

I loved the imagery you used to express the
feeling...bravo!

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert



Mystic Essence
Junior Member
since 09-29-1999
Posts 28


8 posted 09-30-1999 10:33 PM       View Profile for Mystic Essence   Email Mystic Essence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mystic Essence

Thank you all very much!

------------------
My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~ Althea Willow, 1999~
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


9 posted 10-01-1999 12:47 AM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Beautifully done!! And can I ask why you call yourself Mystic Essence, how did you think of it?

------------------
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny, compared to what lies within us.
~Isis~

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


10 posted 10-01-1999 04:29 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

*sigh*

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


11 posted 10-01-1999 11:44 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Well done!!
Mystic Essence
Junior Member
since 09-29-1999
Posts 28


12 posted 10-01-1999 09:02 PM       View Profile for Mystic Essence   Email Mystic Essence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mystic Essence

Thank you all!

Isis-- I've lurked around here a while under other name(s)..My essence has been here, I guess, and I am a lover of fantasy and mystic type things, so therefore, Mystic Essence seemed fitting.

------------------
My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~ Althea Willow, 1999~
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


13 posted 10-01-1999 10:01 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

Great Poem.......I like the way you called the shadow crimson

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
 
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