How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #3 Archive
 Toerag's Marriage   [ Page: 1  2  ]
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Toerag's Marriage

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


0 posted 09-30-1999 03:24 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Blondie

Old Toerag was a lonely man
who had no teeth nor tan.
He was ugly to the rotten core,
Smelled, was dirty, do I need say more?

Toerag was desperate for a wife
He became sad and full of strife.
But one day he went to his uncle's farm
And he met his match, full of charm.

She was sort of heavy, and moved slow,
Had a wide butt which sunk real low.
Her legs were skinny and sort of lean,
And don't stand behind her or she'll get mean.

She had no toes or any feet,
She was a taste of hearty meat.
Her favorite meal was nice green grass,
And her breath smelled like dirty ass.


Toerag though found love and married
The love though always varied.
One day she would love him dearly,
But it never seemed to be sincerely.

Toerag finally decided to take another course
So he went and filed for a final divorce,
This didn't hurt his wife named, Bessy dear,
For she had no feelings 'cause she was an old bum steer.

© Copyright 1999 Melissa - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 09-30-1999 03:37 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Gee... everyone sure seems anxious to marry Toe off... I even thought I'd finally gotten lucky here till Blondie described the skinny legs! *G*

So, Toe... ya been directing the ladies choir again? Tsk, tsk... you KNOW that upsets the husbands when you show all those housewives what they've been missing!
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 09-30-1999 04:57 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Good job. Though Toe has to get lucky one of these days. Unlucky he definately is it seems...lol.

suthrn...lmao....you poor soul.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 09-30-1999 06:27 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Poor old Toe! How udderly ridiculous can he get. Suthern sent him out for a new jersey and he wound up in a cow pasture. I guess he felt at home since he is so much bull but not even a cow would want to see that posture in their pasture. Well, fruits don't want him, bovines don't want him...Hey, Suthern, you're still in the running!

Good one, Blondie!
Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


4 posted 09-30-1999 07:49 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blondie

I'm thinking his next wife should be suthern, she might actually be the one to last in poor Toe's life. Thanks everyone for the comments.
Suthern--ROTFL
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


5 posted 09-30-1999 08:53 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I saw him walking ‘cross the field
His face aglow with passion
We had been cyber pals
And chatted in our own fashion

He said he wanted to meet me
He fell in love with my mind
I warned him of my sagginess
And of my great behind

But when we met face to face
I knew I’d met my dream
Then he said all he wanted
Was just my milk and cream!

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 09-30-1999 08:59 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Oh, my goodness!!! My sides hurt!!!!!

------------------
Denise
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


7 posted 09-30-1999 11:01 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Good one Blondie! Toe didn't we tell ya you had to stay out of them cow pastures! LOL

ROFL PdV! all he wanted was my milk and cream.
JTF
Member
since 08-09-99
Posts 325
France


8 posted 10-01-1999 03:37 AM       View Profile for JTF   Email JTF   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for JTF

ROFL ... Good one Blondie !! ... and thank you for the laugh ladies ...
Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


9 posted 10-01-1999 02:31 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blondie

Thanks everyone! Can't wait to see what toe has in store for us NEXT
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


10 posted 10-01-1999 02:54 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Well damn it! Think about it?...There's no single animals left?...Between Balladeer taking my steer, LongJohn and his sheep, sharing with Balladeer when he wants a change of meat?......I had that lovely mermaid yanno....then forgot about the wedding that day at the beach in my passion for hunting sea shells. But yanno Blondie?....you're name is so easy to work with...(most blondes are easy in one way or another yanno)...so, just get in line sweets....cuz I'm gonna gitya....yep....you will get a lickin' fersure.....many kinds if I had my way....but at least one kind fer sher!...LOL...well done though ya meannie!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


11 posted 10-01-1999 02:54 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Hey... when Toe said all he wanted was a piece of tail, I had no idea he was talking about a fly swatter! great poem, Blondie - and right on the mark. deVine - you are really something - lol.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


12 posted 10-01-1999 03:06 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

DeVine.! You stabbed me in the back?...And I've been so well behaved lately?....Whooops! That's the problem! I've read some of your naughty stuff...okay, okay, I'll come back Monday as the Toerag again...no more Mr. Nice Guy, no more turning the other cheek, (unless it's for naughty reasons to the women...THE WOMEN BALLADEER, THE WOMEN).....Okay...let me just go get my dictionary...I'll write something..you'll see,.....Now then, how do ya spell peauxwatree........

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 10-01-1999).]

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 10-01-1999).]
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
13 posted 10-01-1999 03:28 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

ROFL....great one Blondie................Poet....too cute .........

------------------

May your days be filled with lots of sunshine and your nights lit up by golden moonbeams
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


14 posted 10-01-1999 03:38 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

This is so funny!

I run in to the computer lab every few hours now just to see the next reply.
Now all I want to know is,
When am I gonna get a piece of the action!
( I sorta look like a cow.......I think ....j/k)


------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


15 posted 10-01-1999 03:41 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Saxoness....ya gotta be careful about what ya say on here!!! LongJohn could still be lurking somewhere yanno?.....Geesch! "A piece of the action.....cow?......He's probably gone to rent an "x" rated version of Rawhide as I type!!! He has a fetish for Elmer's Glue....(the bottle with Elsie on it).....I could tell ya this story about LongJohn, a packing house, a side of beef and a....oh, never mind, but you should get what I'm talking about
Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


16 posted 10-01-1999 10:58 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blondie

So Toe, you have one in for me? Well my come backs are even better! So we'll have to see...Thanks everyone for the compliments...and we'll see what Toe comes up with next.
Missy F
New Member
since 08-24-99
Posts 8
brunswick, oh USA


17 posted 10-02-1999 01:18 PM       View Profile for Missy F   Email Missy F   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Missy F

What's next Toe getting married to a suthern poet that hoots like an owl and likes to play ball with a deer? Oh my goodness
Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


18 posted 10-02-1999 02:30 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blondie

ROTFL Missy!
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


19 posted 10-02-1999 05:09 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

Toe,

Woops! Didn't realize about LongJohn. I'll make sure and lock the barn door tonight. ; )
Don't want any prowlers! lol
Blondie.....can't wait to see what you have next

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot


Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


20 posted 10-04-1999 01:22 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blondie

Thanks
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1312
That place with padded walls a


21 posted 10-04-1999 01:32 PM       View Profile for Systematic Decay   Email Systematic Decay   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Systematic Decay

LOL thats all I can say.....thi sone deserves to be at the top.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-
Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


22 posted 10-04-1999 04:15 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blondie

I'n still waiting for Toe's rebuttle.
Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


23 posted 10-04-1999 04:15 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Blondie



[This message has been edited by Blondie (edited 10-04-1999).]
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


24 posted 10-04-1999 06:49 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Nice shot Blondie... LOL! Big Time... Ya know that Toe's favorite box comes from Gateway!
Blondie will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #3 >> Toerag's Marriage   [ Page: 1  2  ] Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors