navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » Why?
Open Poetry #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic Why? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648


0 posted 1999-08-29 02:59 PM


Behind those stark and sterile walls
Nearby those antiseptic halls
Beside that rhythmic bleeping screen
-revealing truth in blips of green
He breathed his last...there all alone
No sould around...there on his own
No special one to stay...to wait
At journey's end near heaven's gate.

Was there an anguished moment there
When tear-filled eyes were full aware
That not a soul had stayed the night
-save silent strangers clad in white
No special one to hold his hand;
Was there a fight to understand
The why of this forsaken fate
At journey's end near heaven's gate?

And as his lamp began to fade
His faithfulness...was not repaid.

More loyalty's not been displayed
Than by this soul...who'd sure have stayed.

Personal note:
Im memory of my Dad who passed away while on vacation in Florida. He was left there all alone by someone who should have stayed with him until the end.

Dad, you of all people deserved so much more.
I'll miss you and love you forever.

© Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
1 posted 1999-08-29 03:07 PM


d, you're right. nobody should have to die alone. what a tragedy.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 1999-08-29 03:16 PM


Yes, Tara, a sad way for such a wonderful guy to have to face the end. It's something that I think I will never get over. And I'll probably never look at people in the same way again. When you totally trust someone and they so shockingly let you down like this, how can you ever totally trust someone again? Thank you for your sympathy.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 1999-08-29 07:46 PM


To anyone who questions why poets rhyme....this poem is the answer. You are brilliant. Thank you for your work.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 1999-08-29 08:43 PM


Thank you Balladeer. I don't think I've ever been called brilliant before! I'm glad that you liked this one. It's very special to me.
Thanks again.

------------------
Denise

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
5 posted 1999-08-29 11:15 PM


I sympathize ... but, I am sure your father knew how you loved him even then, and that knowledge no doubt eased his journey ... this was a beautiful poem and tribute.

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
6 posted 1999-08-29 11:23 PM


Your poem touched me deeply (please go to the Prose Forum and read "Angel of Death"). I don't think anyone dies alone..perhaps no living person is there, but they are not alone.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 1999-08-29 11:24 PM


You're right Nochtdraco, I never thought of that. What a comforting thought. Thank you so much for your insight!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 1999-08-29 11:27 PM


Thank you, Poet deVine, I'll do that!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 1999-08-29 11:30 PM


Thank you, Poet deVine, I'll do that!
Kelly
Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 145

10 posted 1999-08-30 02:22 AM


I'm sorry. That must have been hard. Excellent poem. Thanks for sharing it.
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
11 posted 1999-08-30 03:01 AM


Seen from the shadows
through windows shut fast
the future is veiled
in the mists of the past
but eyes that can see
with a faith big and bold
look through the clouds
to horizons of gold...

Big wraparound HUGS to you..

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.



WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
12 posted 1999-08-30 08:56 AM


I am sorry to hear of this! I agree with deVine there in no-one is alone! Great poem, thank you for sharing with us!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 1999-08-30 09:14 AM


Excellent poem... But no one who is truly loved is ever completely alone... love is enhanced by togetherness, but it doesn't disappear when no one's around... it surrounds you, envelopes you and offers comfort even when those who love you aren't near. Your poem makes it clear that your dad was much loved... and I'm sure he felt that love.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

14 posted 1999-08-30 03:19 PM


Thank you Kelly,RainbowGirl,WhtDove and Suthern for your insight and comfort and for taking the time to read and comment!
HUGGS!!

------------------
Denise

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
15 posted 1999-08-30 03:27 PM


Wow, Denise, I'm so sorry-it must have been so hard on you. I agree that someone who is loved is only physically alone and not any other way. Still, it must have been so hard to have that idea within you. Thank you so much for sharing this poem with us. I liked the rhyme and flow-they can only improve a poem. The hospital is described quite well in the first two lines-all right, I'll quit rambling.

Love,

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."



[This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 08-30-99).]

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

16 posted 1999-08-30 04:27 PM


Thank you Elizabeth for the kind comments. I'm glad that you liked it.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
17 posted 2004-04-17 02:06 PM


how painful...I share it with you
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » Why?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary