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Passions in Poetry

The Coroner's Inquisition

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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


0 posted 08-27-99 08:47 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Toerag

Found this one in my dad's little book...Don't know if he wrote it or he read it and just plain liked it....

An attorney was questioning the coroner,
When the brash lawyer said,
"Did you check the pulse of the deceased,
before you pronounced him dead?"

This incensed the coroner,
and his face turned beet red,
In a very disgusted manner,
the coroner just shook his head.

"Surely you checked his breathing?"
The lawyer then inquired,
"No" exclaimed the coroner,
with an expression uninspired.

"Did you check for a heart beat?"
The coroner said, "not at all,"
"Then how could you pronounce him dead?
How could you make that call?"

That last question was the last straw,
The coroner got "urinated,"
He put that lawyer in his place,
and with a straight face he related;

"The man's brain is on my desk,
in a bottled stored with care,
And for all I know the man in question,
is out practicing law somewhere!"

© Copyright 1999 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 08-27-99 09:12 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

ROFL! I think I've worked for that attorney! LOL... Thanks for sharing, Toe...
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


2 posted 08-27-99 09:14 AM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

OUTSTANDING!

I am curious...how does a coroner get "urinated?"
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


3 posted 08-27-99 09:24 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

INclan: I'd guess he was p.o.'ed? *G*
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


4 posted 08-27-99 10:01 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Twas' a good one! Thanks Toe!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 08-27-99 11:11 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

I don't know where your Dad got it either, Toe, as this joke has been out for some time, I believe it was taken from an actual transcript...

And I know when Tim sees it, it will leave his asking for more!

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


6 posted 08-27-99 11:26 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Some astute resident barristers excluded from the brunt of this joke (I hereby grant them asylum), I find this quite humorous.....

------------------
Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done:
For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits,
Than I am sure I have in my whole five.
~ 1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75


 
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