How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #1 Archive
 The Sea's Safe Harbour
 1 2
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

The Sea's Safe Harbour

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Seaangel
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 172
Auckland, New Zealand


0 posted 08-26-99 02:40 AM       View Profile for Seaangel   Email Seaangel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Seaangel

my love and I
went to the sea
wrapt in our skintight coats,
planted feet up and down
beach where children built
fortresses
and battled
half-dreamt goblins.

we walked up and down,
wrapped our limbs
where bare skin
touched;
the sun melted on our faces.

the children went home to teas of
peas and chicken breasts.

my love and I remained alone
on a beach grown
silver white
and inky black;
the loving moon stript our bodies
the brine of our mouths
swept with the sea.

the sea swept in; the moonlight grinned;
my love slept breathlessly.

later I climbed the lookout
gleaming white and dark
and watched the ease of him
into the vast gut, baring
the sea's salt throat.
© Copyright 1999 Angela King - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 08-26-99 09:18 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Wow - I didn't know this side of you, Sea. Beautiful.
Seaangel
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 172
Auckland, New Zealand


2 posted 08-27-99 02:45 AM       View Profile for Seaangel   Email Seaangel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seaangel

thank you, Severn!
However, I was trying to end the poem on a slightly morbid note. The final two stanzas are meant to imply that "my love" falls asleep on the beach and is drowned by the incoming tide; is this clear in the poem or am I being too vague?? I would love any suggestions on how to finish this so that it is still beautiful but with the suggestion of death/murder colouring it. Help??
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #1 >> The Sea's Safe Harbour Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors