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Passions in Poetry

Lovely velvet violets

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Talon
Junior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 33
Los Angeles


0 posted 08-25-99 04:28 AM       View Profile for Talon   Email Talon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Talon

Lovely velvet violets laying
softly scented, slowly swaying
in a purple perfumed pageant on parade
quiet quivers, slightest shivers
as sun's setting silver sliver
makes a morning glory, more a moonlit maid

dainty dresses, quaint caresses
whirling wind in trailing tresses
ballroom breezes briskly tease between the trees
fragile flowers, fragrant, flowing
blooming bowers, bending, bowing
in a frantic flowered frolick 'for the freeze

dancing daisies, round a ring
sweeping posies, prance and sing
while windy whirls of gale are gusting, then serene
lovely lilting lilacs lute
flashing fireflies fly and flute
dewdrop drinks on petal platters so pristine

sudden thunder shakes the ground
as lightning leaps from all around
and hurried flowers, fleeting fly to hidden huddles
clustered clouds break up the ball
as raging raindrops flailing fall
to tear to tatters, pitter-pattering in puddles

while waiting, watch the muddled mass,
who pray and plead, this too to pass
as soon surrounds a soothing silence giving graces
to the dark and dreary, weak and weary
once green grass, now tired and teary
who sleeps in slumber, dreaming dreams of peaceful places
© Copyright 1999 Talon - All Rights Reserved
Mark R.
Member
since 06-25-99
Posts 118
San Francisco, CA.


1 posted 08-25-99 07:25 AM       View Profile for Mark R.   Email Mark R.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark R.

Very well done. I really liked it. Welcome aboard; hope you keep treating us to your writing.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


2 posted 08-25-99 09:44 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Talon,
You said a mouth full.
well done.
Talon
Junior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 33
Los Angeles


3 posted 08-25-99 10:38 AM       View Profile for Talon   Email Talon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Talon

Thank you very much for the compilements. I saw some kewl things on this site (looks like there are some pretty good authors here), and wanted to give it a shot, hopefully it's good enough
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


4 posted 08-25-99 08:32 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Of course this is good enough! The alliteration is exquisite, and the rhythm reminded me of the beat in Poe's "The Raven."

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


5 posted 08-25-99 10:21 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Oh so beautiful! Wow!

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
thursdayschild
Member
since 07-01-99
Posts 174
Houston, Tx.


6 posted 08-25-99 11:15 PM       View Profile for thursdayschild   Email thursdayschild   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for thursdayschild

Exquisitely written! Nice to see you here
dear friend
Talon
Junior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 33
Los Angeles


7 posted 08-25-99 11:35 PM       View Profile for Talon   Email Talon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Talon

Thanks all for the welcome. I definitely see some talented poets on this site and will see if I can add somethings as well. Glad to hear you enjoyed the poem

Hmmm ... "The Raven" ... Kewl!!! Thanks again very much
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


8 posted 08-25-99 11:59 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I can see this is a study in assonance and alliteration! Nice work.
Areya
Junior Member
since 06-26-99
Posts 16


9 posted 08-26-99 07:57 AM       View Profile for Areya   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Areya

beautiful!!
Mona Lisa
Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 100
Halifax, Nova Scotia


10 posted 08-26-99 08:37 AM       View Profile for Mona Lisa   Email Mona Lisa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mona Lisa

Very very beautiful. The words of this poem ring like music in my ears.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 08-26-99 11:41 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

What a pleasant bouquet.
Talon
Junior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 33
Los Angeles


12 posted 08-26-99 12:21 PM       View Profile for Talon   Email Talon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Talon

Sorry for making your ears ring Mona Lisa J/K

And Severn, is assonance ryhming consonants? I didn't know what it's called when you duplicate many consonance sounds.

But thanks again for the compliments ... Oh there's a second poem I posted here as well, a little like this one called "A Hidden Valley"
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


13 posted 08-26-99 12:39 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

talon

neat arrangement and style - I enjoyed it. As for being good enough? Of course you are, and you should be ashamed for fishing for compliments when your poem speaks well enough for itself. tsk tsk - lol
Talon
Junior Member
since 08-25-99
Posts 33
Los Angeles


14 posted 08-26-99 04:43 PM       View Profile for Talon   Email Talon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Talon

Yes it's a new style for me, usually do try the rhyming and rythm, but I wrote one stanza in another poem almost on accident ...

A Siren singing song of starshine
beckons forth a fragile hand
that lured, lingers on that line
longing fingers, starlit land.

so I tried writing this one in the same way. Glad you liked

Thanks Long John, do appreciate the reception very much.

Oh and *reels in catch, and rebaits the hook* LOL!
Emmy
Member
since 06-29-99
Posts 204
KY

Newsletter Staff
15 posted 08-26-99 05:46 PM       View Profile for Emmy   Email Emmy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Emmy's Home Page   View IP for Emmy

WOW. That was reeeeally good. I loved the imagery. I could see it all! And welcome to the family! I'm sure you'll fit right in!
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