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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 1999-08-24 05:36 PM


Critique My Grammar, Please!

Well, Sunshine, she’s done stepped in it again
by allowing out her non-poisonous pen,
she’s permitted her teachings to be her undoing
and now she’s received quite an A-- chewing.

“Are we looking in Critical Analysis?”
came the lowly sound of someone’s hiss;
“who cares for punctuation, or spelling for that matter
we can all go around acting like the Mad Hatter!”

“Sigh” sounds Sunshine, “now everyone thinks I’m mean,
and if not that, then they must think me a machine…
why, I’ve got faults, heck, I’ve put them out to be read,
and now everyone must think I’ve got bats in my head.”

So poets beware, Sunshine’s pen’s been put away
and from now on, in Open Forum, she will only say,
"that only nice comments will henceforth be seen"
but in C. A., she’ll be a nightmare’s dream!

24 August, 1999
©KRJ



------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



© Copyright 1999 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
1 posted 1999-08-24 06:36 PM


How could anyone think you're mean, Sunshine ... I have not read this comment that you made, but I am sure that you made it with the best intentions ... LOL ... we all step over the line sometimes, and it takes a certain amount of grace to eat that humble pie ...

We still think you're a sweetie

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
2 posted 1999-08-24 06:41 PM


I DID read your comment...and completely agreed with you. Nothing puts me off more than bad spelling and grammar. It removes the shine from the poetry. I think it is worth a few minutes with a dictionary to, as they say, get it right the first time.
You go, Sunshine!

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

wordweaver
Junior Member
since 1999-08-19
Posts 25
south carolina
3 posted 1999-08-24 07:27 PM


Take it from one who knows
your criticism is constructive and it shows.
You are in no way mean for your loving pen I have seen.
In my efforts at writing
I often fail to tighten up
The places I may have gotten sloppy.
So if you ever read my works and they seem choppy,
please feel free to constructively critcize me.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
4 posted 1999-08-24 09:12 PM


Well there sunshine, I didn't read the comment either. But some people just can't take constructive criticism. I wouldn't get to hurt over it. Most of us are thankful when we are told. I would rather see true constructive help, than what a nice poem, if it really wasn't. Ya know? I would rather help my piece. We can only do that with the help of others pointing that out.

Keep truckin with that pen!!!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 1999-08-24 10:24 PM


Sunshine,
There is always a cloud that blocks the sun
But without them it would be no fun.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 1999-08-24 10:30 PM


You folks are great, and it's with ease
that I say, thanks a lot, and please
go ahead and critique away!
For I was laughing when I wrote
this little ditty, and I've had my say!

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



redwriter1
Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480
Franklin, TN
7 posted 1999-08-24 11:59 PM


"that only nice comments will henceforth be seen"
but in C. A., she’ll be a nightmare’s dream!

** errr, is there supposed to be a close quotation after dream!?

sorry.. j/k
(grin)

traveler
Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 119

8 posted 1999-08-25 08:15 AM


Oh no, Sunshine. Your comments are not only fair, but in my case, kinder than I deserve. I can't speak for anyone else, but please continue to provide whatever guidance you find appropriate.
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