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Passions in Poetry

Need a title for this one

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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 08-22-99 02:33 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Skyfyre

Unsaid

"My love, I give my heart to you,
And will forever be
Devoted to your happiness
With every part of me --

You gave me everything you had
My lover, and my friend;
You filled the empty parts of me
And made me whole again.

And when, in anger, or in spite,
Or thoughtlessness, I strayed --
Another might have walked away --
But by my side you stayed:

I broke your heart so many times
And you were ever true --
So now, unworthy as it is,
I give my heart to you."

She smiled, and kissed him softly then,
And whispered out his name;
Her breath was dew upon the glass
Inside the wooden frame.

She sighed, and put his picture down
And then turned off the light,
And lay, repeating loving words
That haunted her each night.

The pillow dampened by her tears,
As softly, sleep crept in;
And she confessed into the night
What she never said to him.

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(When I hear the bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")



[This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 08-30-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


1 posted 08-22-99 02:37 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

The Price of Regret? or just Regret?

Very emotional piece, would you mind if I printed off a copy?

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvilŠ




[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 08-22-99).]
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 08-22-99 02:42 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Were these words that he actually had said or words that she, in her imagination, wished he had said?
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


3 posted 08-22-99 03:03 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Words she wishes she had said to him ... words she now says too late.

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(When I hear the bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")



[This message has been edited by Nochtdraco (edited 08-22-99).]
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


4 posted 08-22-99 03:16 PM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Another beautifully moving piece. I will place this next to Sunshine's "he doesn't want my poetry". Haunting ending. Happy or sad?
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


5 posted 08-22-99 04:30 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Very emotional...I truly enjoyed this. Sort of a bittersweet sadness...

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


6 posted 08-22-99 07:36 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

"Regret" is a very appropriate title, Dream, thanks ... and of course you can print a copy ...

traveler, the end of this story is undoubtedly sad ... if you could think otherwise then I have not put my point across very well and need to rewrite it ...

Alwye, thank you so much for your compliment ... I appreciate all feedback, be it good or bad ...

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(When I hear the bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


7 posted 08-22-99 07:53 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

It is beautiful...

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


8 posted 08-23-99 08:15 AM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

Nochtdraco, Originally I thought it was sad. Your first reply, now edited, led me to question that conclusion. Still a beautiful work. Don't rewrite it.

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 08-23-99).]

[This message has been edited by traveler (edited 08-25-99).]
snacks
Junior Member
since 08-21-99
Posts 35
NJ


9 posted 08-23-99 08:23 AM       View Profile for snacks   Email snacks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for snacks

I LOVE THIS POEM! "A FROZEN KISS" OR SOMETHING OF THAT NATURE IS A TITLE THAT COMES TO MIND. SOMETHING INDICATING THE KISS AT THE END THAT TURNS OUT TO BE FOR A PICTURE..A MEMORY. GREAT POEM
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


10 posted 08-23-99 08:28 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

How about "Organ Donor?"......nice poem, well thought out me thinks!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


11 posted 08-23-99 09:13 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

This definately brought tears to my eyes...what a wonderfully written piece. I love the flow it has, it reads perfectly!!

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


12 posted 08-23-99 04:08 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

LMAO ... "Organ Donor?" ... ummm ... I think I won't ask ...

Hmmm ... something appropriately humble is called for here ... "My poetry is not worthy of such praise" or something ... but you'd never believe me, so I'll just say ...

Thanks all.
Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


13 posted 08-23-99 04:13 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Bravo, Nochtdraco! Hmm, for a title, how about "Wistful Kisses"? Great job on this one.

------------------
*Elizabeth*

"Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low,
But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..."
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


14 posted 08-23-99 05:15 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

This was a simply beautiful poem, and I cannot wait to see what you would entitle it. Had I been wise and smart enough to pen something so beautiful I think I would have called it "Everything Left Unsaid".

Well done, new friend.

And should Traveler be re-reading this for all comments, thank you, my friend, for the nod to my work.

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


15 posted 08-23-99 05:41 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Well Done! I've been gone for ten days and your poetry is the first to greet me back. A fine offering. Thanks for sharing. If I were to offer a title, I would have to echo DreamEvil. "Regret" seems appropriate.
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


16 posted 08-23-99 10:34 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

How about "unspoken"?

or "missing the words"

very sincere and honest. I like that.
traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


17 posted 08-25-99 09:36 AM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

I guess I am just drawn to this poem ...
can't decide if this or "In Reveries" is my favorite of your works (lol ... to date). They hold special meaning for me. For myself, I miss my love and want her back ... did the character in this poem find happiness. Maybe you'll post a sequel one day. Thanks again ...
PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


18 posted 08-30-99 11:12 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

How about "Haunted Heart" It is a beautiful poem, no matter what you title it.

------------------
Words lay dormant in the recesses of the mind til called forth to a labor of love. By WildChild

miriam
Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 334
glendale,ca.


19 posted 08-30-99 01:36 PM       View Profile for miriam   Email miriam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for miriam

how about keeping the title you already have? that way the poem can speak for itself.
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


20 posted 08-30-99 06:19 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Again, thank you all for your comments and suggestions. As you can see, I have finally decided on a title, though I doubt it's as good as the ones I was offered. I just couldn't decide, so I came up with something different, contrary woman that I am ...



------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


21 posted 08-30-99 06:45 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Call it "rainbow"...for there are so many different facets just like the facets of diamonds, each has a hue of their own but each remarkable in their own way...so each sparkles in a brilliant hemisphere...

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.


traveler
Member
since 08-17-99
Posts 122


22 posted 08-31-99 08:51 AM       View Profile for traveler   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for traveler

yes ... contrary ... well said
 
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