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Passions in Poetry

Balladeer's BIG Test

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 08-21-99 05:02 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

'Deer works for a typical company,
Progressive in so many ways.
They have free concerts out on the green,
And give company picnics and plays.

Of course, their latest sign of the times,
Although it may seem demeaning,
Is to randomly choose different employees,
For their company-imposed drug screening.

Now, 'Deer is one of the most naive,
You could find on the company roles.
So, when he dutifully answered their call,
He didn't know their Zero Tolerance goals.

The nurse met him in the dispensary,
And handed him a clear platic cup.
Without so much as a "How do you do?"
She told Balladeer, "Fill it up!"

The nurse was a suspicious woman,
She knew the tricks that druggies played.
So she stood guard outside 'Deer's door,
To make sure the test was OK.

A few minutes passed while she waited,
And then quite a few minutes more.
And still 'Deer didn't unlock the latch,
And open the restroom door.

So the nurse lightly rapped on the door,
"Sir, I need your sample to screen."
From within his timid voice answered,
"Don't I get even ONE magazine?"
© Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


1 posted 08-21-99 05:04 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

It took me some minutes to stop laughing! A very funny joke in perfect rhyme. I am going to miss you, Mr. Silver.
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


2 posted 08-21-99 05:08 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


3 posted 08-21-99 05:14 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Sue - is one of us going somewhere?? Thank you for the compliment.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 08-21-99 05:15 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Perfect rhyme?! You call that perfect rhyme? It stinks!!! It's horrible, unfeeling, uncaring, oafish and sometimes inaccurate. What is this? You moving in to pinch-hit now for your buddy? Picking up the slack, are we? And what's this "going to miss you" business? Forget the 'Hiyo Mr. Silver away' business! You ain't hitting me with a zinger and running off. I'm coming for you, boy!


hmmmm.....maybe THAT'S what Sue means......

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 08-21-99).]
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


5 posted 08-21-99 05:20 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

'Deer

err, ahh, I thought you were down at the beach. erk... BTW - Lorelei put me up to this. Honest, I didn't want to say anything about Zero Tolerance - really.
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


6 posted 08-21-99 05:22 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

I just posted my farewell, but nobody read it. Actually I'm only going for two weeks, but from here it seems like an eternity.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


7 posted 08-21-99 05:32 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Two weeks, eh? Sounds like a VACATION to me! All of my vacation was cancelled by the meanies upstairs. Now I gotta work my tail off some more. I hope I don't get called for a drug screening test. I haven't a single magazine!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


8 posted 08-21-99 05:32 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Long John... I love you, man! LOL. (Sorry, I drank all the beer. *G*) I didn't think I had a smile in me today... thank you for proving me wrong!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


9 posted 08-21-99 05:38 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Belle!

How are you? Please fill me in via email. OK?

hugs
Lorelei54
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 486


10 posted 08-21-99 06:44 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

LJA...why do you have to blame everything on me? All I did was suggest you put the joke to poem...and "suggested" Balladeer since Toerag is absent at the moment *eg*
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


11 posted 08-21-99 07:08 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

thanks for the chuckles, LngJhn
IsabelleSkye
Member
since 06-27-99
Posts 262


12 posted 08-21-99 08:27 PM       View Profile for IsabelleSkye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for IsabelleSkye

oh god
OH GOD
I knew he would do something like this!
*sigh*
we just can't let him out in public can we guys???
I.Skye
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


13 posted 08-21-99 08:34 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Sorry it took so long to respond for I was out buy all those cups. I've decided to become a free-lance drug screener! Ok guys.. step right up, take your cup. But you won't need magazines. I'll just print out some poetry from the Adult Forum. That ought to do the job!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


14 posted 08-21-99 08:40 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Before I am chastised too severely, did anybody notice how I kept this poem clean? And.... I paid 'Deer lots of sweet compliments, too. A person with no knowledge of drugs, naive in the ways of drug testing. Indeed, 'Deer is a man of principle and morality, as I clearly showed. And for this bit of mirth, what am I repaid? Scathing words, delivered with vitriol and malice. I just KNEW that Kitty Kitty poem was a mistake. However, I forgive each of you.

oops... one other thing. Believe it or not, except for me using 'Deer's name (because I have a fondness for the Master), this is a true story.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-21-99).]
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


15 posted 08-22-99 01:44 AM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

Pretty good.Happy writing.
Terri
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 82
Turtle Creek, PA


16 posted 08-22-99 02:39 AM       View Profile for Terri   Email Terri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Terri

ROTFLMAO...nice knowin' ya, Lng! Magazine? He don't need no stinkin' magazine...not with an imagination like his...LOL!!
Cinderella
Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 157
Arizona


17 posted 08-22-99 03:16 AM       View Profile for Cinderella   Email Cinderella   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cinderella

Just what I like a good laugh - I mean a REALLY good laugh! hee hee
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


18 posted 08-22-99 03:57 AM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Very funny!!!Well done!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


19 posted 08-27-99 02:19 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Geez, how do I miss all of the good ones? I must have a life somewhere else that I don't know about. LOL!

Keep it up, LJA! [That can be taken either way...]

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


20 posted 08-27-99 02:31 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Ya think he was long enough to reach the cup man?....I hope the nurse wasn't laughing so hard that she spilled the "sample" on her way to the lab...
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


21 posted 08-27-99 05:15 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

..um sorry it took me so long too, but I was out buying magazines for Balladeer.... I decided on "Reader's Digest" for you - Will that do, Sweets?...
latearrival
Member Elite
since 03-21-2003
Posts 4407
Florida


22 posted 06-13-2010 08:23 PM       View Profile for latearrival   Email latearrival   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for latearrival

And one more.....
 
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