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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 1999-08-21 05:02 PM


'Deer works for a typical company,
Progressive in so many ways.
They have free concerts out on the green,
And give company picnics and plays.

Of course, their latest sign of the times,
Although it may seem demeaning,
Is to randomly choose different employees,
For their company-imposed drug screening.

Now, 'Deer is one of the most naive,
You could find on the company roles.
So, when he dutifully answered their call,
He didn't know their Zero Tolerance goals.

The nurse met him in the dispensary,
And handed him a clear platic cup.
Without so much as a "How do you do?"
She told Balladeer, "Fill it up!"

The nurse was a suspicious woman,
She knew the tricks that druggies played.
So she stood guard outside 'Deer's door,
To make sure the test was OK.

A few minutes passed while she waited,
And then quite a few minutes more.
And still 'Deer didn't unlock the latch,
And open the restroom door.

So the nurse lightly rapped on the door,
"Sir, I need your sample to screen."
From within his timid voice answered,
"Don't I get even ONE magazine?"

© Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Sue
Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383
France
1 posted 1999-08-21 05:04 PM


It took me some minutes to stop laughing! A very funny joke in perfect rhyme. I am going to miss you, Mr. Silver.
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
2 posted 1999-08-21 05:08 PM



LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
3 posted 1999-08-21 05:14 PM


Sue - is one of us going somewhere?? Thank you for the compliment.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 1999-08-21 05:15 PM


Perfect rhyme?! You call that perfect rhyme? It stinks!!! It's horrible, unfeeling, uncaring, oafish and sometimes inaccurate. What is this? You moving in to pinch-hit now for your buddy? Picking up the slack, are we? And what's this "going to miss you" business? Forget the 'Hiyo Mr. Silver away' business! You ain't hitting me with a zinger and running off. I'm coming for you, boy!


hmmmm.....maybe THAT'S what Sue means......

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 08-21-99).]

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
5 posted 1999-08-21 05:20 PM


'Deer

err, ahh, I thought you were down at the beach. erk... BTW - Lorelei put me up to this. Honest, I didn't want to say anything about Zero Tolerance - really.

Sue
Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383
France
6 posted 1999-08-21 05:22 PM


I just posted my farewell, but nobody read it. Actually I'm only going for two weeks, but from here it seems like an eternity.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
7 posted 1999-08-21 05:32 PM


Two weeks, eh? Sounds like a VACATION to me! All of my vacation was cancelled by the meanies upstairs. Now I gotta work my tail off some more. I hope I don't get called for a drug screening test. I haven't a single magazine!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 1999-08-21 05:32 PM


Long John... I love you, man! LOL. (Sorry, I drank all the beer. *G*) I didn't think I had a smile in me today... thank you for proving me wrong!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
9 posted 1999-08-21 05:38 PM


Belle!

How are you? Please fill me in via email. OK?

hugs

Lorelei54
Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458

10 posted 1999-08-21 06:44 PM


LJA...why do you have to blame everything on me? All I did was suggest you put the joke to poem...and "suggested" Balladeer since Toerag is absent at the moment *eg*
elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
11 posted 1999-08-21 07:08 PM


thanks for the chuckles, LngJhn
IsabelleSkye
Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253

12 posted 1999-08-21 08:27 PM


oh god
OH GOD
I knew he would do something like this!
*sigh*
we just can't let him out in public can we guys???
I.Skye

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
13 posted 1999-08-21 08:34 PM


Sorry it took so long to respond for I was out buy all those cups. I've decided to become a free-lance drug screener! Ok guys.. step right up, take your cup. But you won't need magazines. I'll just print out some poetry from the Adult Forum. That ought to do the job!


LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
14 posted 1999-08-21 08:40 PM


Before I am chastised too severely, did anybody notice how I kept this poem clean? And.... I paid 'Deer lots of sweet compliments, too. A person with no knowledge of drugs, naive in the ways of drug testing. Indeed, 'Deer is a man of principle and morality, as I clearly showed. And for this bit of mirth, what am I repaid? Scathing words, delivered with vitriol and malice. I just KNEW that Kitty Kitty poem was a mistake. However, I forgive each of you.

oops... one other thing. Believe it or not, except for me using 'Deer's name (because I have a fondness for the Master), this is a true story.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-21-99).]

Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
15 posted 1999-08-22 01:44 AM


Pretty good.Happy writing.
Terri
Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 82
Turtle Creek, PA
16 posted 1999-08-22 02:39 AM


ROTFLMAO...nice knowin' ya, Lng! Magazine? He don't need no stinkin' magazine...not with an imagination like his...LOL!!
Cinderella
Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 152
Arizona
17 posted 1999-08-22 03:16 AM


Just what I like a good laugh - I mean a REALLY good laugh! hee hee
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513

18 posted 1999-08-22 03:57 AM


Very funny!!!Well done!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 1999-08-27 02:19 PM


Geez, how do I miss all of the good ones? I must have a life somewhere else that I don't know about. LOL!

Keep it up, LJA! [That can be taken either way...]

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
20 posted 1999-08-27 02:31 PM


Ya think he was long enough to reach the cup man?....I hope the nurse wasn't laughing so hard that she spilled the "sample" on her way to the lab...
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
21 posted 1999-08-27 05:15 PM


..um sorry it took me so long too, but I was out buying magazines for Balladeer.... I decided on "Reader's Digest" for you - Will that do, Sweets?...
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
22 posted 2010-06-13 08:23 PM


And one more.....
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