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Open Poetry #1
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DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396


0 posted 1999-08-19 01:27 AM


The first breath of life fills me with wonder.
Gazing at them sets my heart all aglow.
Innocence tears my scarred heart asunder.
These feelings I am now able to show.

Gazing at them sets my heart all aglow.
On my mind tonight is a baby's scent.
These feelings I am now able to show.
It took my heart forever to relent.

On my mind tonight is a baby's scent.
Newborn babies seem to just draw me in.
It took my heart forever to relent.
Babies make each of my feelings deepen.

Newborn babies seem to just draw me in.
Cast by them is a very subtle spell.
Babies make each of my feelings deepen.
They adeptly drew me out of my shell.

Cast by them is a very subtle spell.
They love everyone just for who they are.
They adeptly drew me out of my shell.
Opening my heart, they left it ajar.

They love everyone just for who they are.
Innocence tears my scarred heart asunder.
Opening my heart, they left it ajar.
The first breath of life fills me with wonder.


©1999 DreamEvil

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©




[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 08-19-99).]

© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 1999-08-19 01:29 AM


very good dream i applaude the technique and the message is good
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
2 posted 1999-08-19 01:30 AM


Beautifully done, Dream. I love babies..absolutely adore them. All children, actually.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"If I could be an angel, I'd make your every wish come true. But I am only human, just a woman lovin' you..." Trisha Yearwood


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 1999-08-19 01:30 AM


Perfect. Loved it, DE.
Gentle Soul
Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273
Vinton,Ohio USA
4 posted 1999-08-19 01:39 AM


this is beautiful Dream! you write so well brother!

------------------
Gënt£ë¤§°û£


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
5 posted 1999-08-19 02:51 AM


Ah, the sweet innocence of babies. They remind us of that which is truly pure. Very well done, DE.

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"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain*

Dragoness
Senior Member
since 1999-08-07
Posts 513

6 posted 1999-08-19 05:44 AM


Very sweet! Well written! You are the best brother!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
7 posted 1999-08-19 06:37 AM


Dreamie! A pantoum! And you didn't even warn us. Way to go, man. I liked the theme, although it doesn't seem to be you...yanno...not dark and DreamEvilly at all. Are you slipping? Have you "come over to the Light side, Luke?" Great subject. Great delivery.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 1999-08-19 09:46 AM


DreamEvil,
Don't know how I missed this wonderful pantoun. You are very talented.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
9 posted 1999-08-19 10:17 AM


LOL...LJA. This was wonderful! The innocence of children. How truthful they are, and don't see us for our shortcomings. Have lots of them Dream!!!!

[This message has been edited by WhtDove (edited 08-19-99).]

~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
10 posted 1999-08-19 01:24 PM


Oh, to hold a newborn baby... *sigh* That's when one first learns the meaning of true love! Excellent pantoum... you've mastered the style.

------------------
~onevoice~

"She looked at her life
like lines, never-ending,
constantly forming,
reforming and bending."



poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
11 posted 1999-08-19 01:34 PM


I'm with wayoutwalt here, I really liked the originality of your technique, you don't see that often, if ever ! Very nice piece.....Just remember, babies grow up to be little monsters !! LOL

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 1999-08-19 01:45 PM


Very, very good.

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
13 posted 1999-08-19 06:48 PM


Not only a pantoum, but on the light side as well.....
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

14 posted 1999-08-20 06:02 AM


I aim to please, myself and others. My aim seems to be pretty good.
caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
15 posted 1999-08-20 06:42 AM


ahhhh babies...like holding a little rosebud in your hand. You've captured the feeling of seeing that new little face, and made me smile Thanks!

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The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

pen of passion
Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234

16 posted 1999-08-20 08:38 AM


DE you are well deep-written man.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 1999-08-20 11:02 AM


Wonderful poem, DE! You definitely aimed well. *S*
Rita
Member
since 1999-07-19
Posts 55
Danville Va. 24540
18 posted 1999-08-21 01:30 AM


babies are wonderful, beautiful to observe. You show the wonder of a child, and grasp its first breath, and the purity of a child. the touch of their silken body, who can not love babies.

------------------
"And the day came, where the risk to remain tight in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

IsabelleSkye
Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253

19 posted 1999-08-21 03:41 PM


a blonde haired, blue eyed little angel to hold your hand and call you Daddy...
*sigh*
well I want one too!(that's not a hint LOL)
BUT....she better call me Mommy *wink*
(btw this was lovely!)
Izzy

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
20 posted 1999-08-21 07:31 PM


Very nice Dream...I get the pleasure of seeing this on a daily basis...what better joy than new life
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