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Open Poetry #1
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The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

0 posted 1999-08-18 06:42 PM


the wind whipped through my hair,
through my very soul,
it made me realize,
what I lost,
and what i could never regain,
as i stood on the brink of the unforgiven,
I looked down into blackness,
wished for it to envelope me,
but the light shone through,
the wind no longer blew,
and the voices that haunt me,
grew silent because they knew,
i was a beaten man,
and they had their revenge




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© Copyright 1999 John Dixon - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 1999-08-19 01:57 PM


Jackal, you've describe how you feel, but not why. Could you expound on this a bit? I think may then grab the reader with a bit more force. What were you beaten by? Life? Love? Religion? Alcohol? A school kid? Why are you feeling sorry for yourself? Help!

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Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



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