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Passions in Poetry

Trust

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tori
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


0 posted 08-18-99 12:11 PM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

a place I could not go~

My lungs are full with wasted tears
the air is not so crisp or clear
My voice can't raise another octave,
only whispers I can hear
My mind is not racing fast,
the thoughts are clear and calm
And looking back on what I have,
I see it now is gone
I've read no books on what to do,
on how much one should,
or should not give
I have no answer on what's right and wrong,
but this one, I can't forgive

I watched my child die today,
he slipped out of my arms
I tried to grab and pull him back,
to force life in his lungs,
but he would not breathe it in,
now my child is gone
I watched as his life slipped out of sight,
as he calmly drifted on
I gave him life, I bought him here,
and I watched him drift from sight
As I prayed so hard to go with him,
on this cold and darkened night


I seen color drain out, fade away,
as whiteness filled his once tanned face
His lips turning purple,
as his mouth gapes open wide,
Where once a smile that melt the sun,
has gone away and died,
And his looks, so handsome,
a loving boy, is now as cold as ice,
where once sweet laughter lived and rained,
only death and coldness lies

His eye's so big and bright
that twinkled life and love,
Now stare at me in blankness
no sparks or embers there,
no reflection to his soul,
no resemblance to the child
a mothers arms once held
The mirror has has tuned black
As my heart turned black as well

For his soul is gone, forever lost,
and not I his mother at any cost,
can bring back his once so loving way's,
there's no return, for him or I,
no return to yesterday

Today I lay my baby down
into the earth into the ground,
So little time, so short a time,
to lower his body into that ground,
The dirt that hits his casket,
each and every gain of sand
like counting the times I trusted him
The times I held his hand
I hear so clear, as a kiss,
a kiss good-bye, forever missed

As others cry and morn him
they soon will find their way,
new lives and happiness
will come to them one day

But Mother will hold till her time,
every second, of every hour, of every day,
as years no longer fly away
His soul free and mine condemned
to walk this earth alone
Empty, heartless, echoes,
with no place or peace to ever call my home

So I say good bye to what may have been
if he was still around,
Knowing that he will never know, how much,
I laid down, into that ground ...

Will never know to be a dad
with children of his own..
The cost we pay for our mistakes
and lesions that we learn.
Will never say I understand,
now that I'm grown
'Tis but a boy, I bid farewell
as I kissed his lifeless lips
Forgiveness I've none, only a hollow shell
of the me that use to be

I should have moved,
I should have screamed,
I should have shed a tear
I should have trust,
So it show's
no trust could make him live,
so I have no trust to give

Tori October 3rd 1998 6:42 AM


© Copyright 1999 Victoria Hosier/tori - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 08-18-99 12:29 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Well done, tori... and if this is your story, I can only offer my deepest sympathies.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


2 posted 08-18-99 12:37 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

This was absolutely heart wrenching! I hope to God this was not you that experienced such awful pain! Per chance that it was, my deepest sympathy to you also! I have kids of my own and could only imagine the pain! Something none of us hope to experience.
God be with you!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


3 posted 08-18-99 12:40 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Tori,
This must have been difficult to write but it helps ease the pain. A very sensitive piece but very well done.
tori
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


4 posted 08-18-99 12:58 PM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

My son's heart stoped three times after the experence with Jimson Weed.. so often after the fact when asked for trust we seem to drag them up.. in a very clear picture....
Thanks for the kindness and for reading
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


5 posted 08-18-99 03:02 PM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

How incredibly well you portray pain! Such terrible pain.
tori
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


6 posted 08-19-99 09:38 AM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

Thank you Sue... this is one I'd like to forget..and it is getting better
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