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Open Poetry #1
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JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

0 posted 1999-08-17 06:36 PM


I wrote a poem once,
I thought it very good.
I wrote it for my bothers,
hangin' around the 'hood.

I wrote it with feeling,
about my fellow 'home's.
all about their dew rags,
and their neatly shave domes.

I wrote about the pistols,
their clubs, knives and glocks.
I wrote about their razors,
they carry in thier socks.

My homey's read my poems,
had themselves a hoot.
I doubted that I hurt them,
till they began to shoot.

------------------
Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP



© Copyright 1999 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved
jfreak
Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306
Yuma, AZ, USA
1 posted 1999-08-17 08:09 PM


Different but enjoyable. Nice introspective about where you are from and what you grew up in. Not too many people will allow so many others there.

Jfreak

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 1999-08-17 08:38 PM


The title drew me...simple....maybe we should all just title each piece "Poem"...it would save racking our brains for just the right catchy title!

The poem (with the spelling errors) was good.. a 'savvy' poem about today.. no Shakespeare for these guys!

pen of passion
Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234

3 posted 1999-08-17 09:41 PM


Very nice.
JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
4 posted 1999-08-18 09:59 AM


Thanks y'all (you too PDV even though you pointed out my spelling errors ).

jfreak - I hate to break the news to you my friend, but this poem is simply a flight of fancy, no deep meaning about my life or where I grew up.

------------------
Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 1999-08-18 05:03 PM


Poignant, nonetheless......
Sue
Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383
France
6 posted 1999-08-18 05:08 PM


And we thought we'd got to know you better! Never mind, I know enough - you write good poems.
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