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Love Notes
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Love Notes |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
I pen him these love notes, Everyday after that year, Deep blues on white paper, That need a listener's ear. The doctor snaps, "Stop It!" A dead lover can not see, Another scientist, Who can not come to believe: The note placed on the grave, By morning will disappear, And in return it's there, A damp love note from my dear. |
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| © Copyright 1999 pen of passion - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Welcome to the forum! I would like to note something in the second line, first stanza. Maybe "Everyday, every year" would help it read better. |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
Whte Dove, thanks for your response. I like your comment. Can I use it? |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
This is so sweet! Such a nice sentiment. |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
Well actually I was trying for goosebumps. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Quite good, though it caused more smiles than goosebumps.  ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
Are you being facetiously evil? |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I've always wanted to believe that in some way the dead are still aware of our goings on, and our feelings toward them, to a point where our messages find them, somehow......If I knew for sure, I'd be leaving notes everywhere.......(smile) Very thought provoking piece....Thanks! ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet [This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 08-21-99).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Very nicely done |
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