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Passions in Poetry

Love Notes

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pen of passion
Member
since 08-11-99
Posts 240


0 posted 08-16-99 01:03 PM       View Profile for pen of passion   Email pen of passion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for pen of passion

I pen him these love notes,
Everyday after that year,
Deep blues on white paper,
That need a listener's ear.

The doctor snaps, "Stop It!"
A dead lover can not see,
Another scientist,
Who can not come to believe:

The note placed on the grave,
By morning will disappear,
And in return it's there,
A damp love note from my dear.
© Copyright 1999 pen of passion - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


1 posted 08-16-99 02:04 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Welcome to the forum!
I would like to note something in the second line, first stanza. Maybe "Everyday, every year" would help it read better.
pen of passion
Member
since 08-11-99
Posts 240


2 posted 08-16-99 05:38 PM       View Profile for pen of passion   Email pen of passion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pen of passion

Whte Dove, thanks for your response. I like your comment. Can I use it?
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


3 posted 08-21-99 08:42 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

This is so sweet! Such a nice sentiment.
pen of passion
Member
since 08-11-99
Posts 240


4 posted 08-21-99 10:25 AM       View Profile for pen of passion   Email pen of passion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pen of passion

Well actually I was trying for goosebumps.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


5 posted 08-21-99 10:30 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Quite good, though it caused more smiles than goosebumps.

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvilŠ


pen of passion
Member
since 08-11-99
Posts 240


6 posted 08-21-99 10:38 AM       View Profile for pen of passion   Email pen of passion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pen of passion

Are you being facetiously evil?
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


7 posted 08-21-99 10:45 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

I've always wanted to believe that in some way the dead are still aware of our goings on, and our feelings toward them, to a point where our messages find them, somehow......If I knew for sure, I'd be leaving notes everywhere.......(smile)
Very thought provoking piece....Thanks!
------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet



[This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 08-21-99).]
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


8 posted 08-21-99 10:56 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Very nicely done
 
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