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Passions in Poetry

Remembrance in dreams

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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 08-15-99 10:55 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Skyfyre

I hear the whispers of many years behind me;
Eons, ages, beyond my own ...
Feeling things I never hoped to feel
Knowing - what I could not have known.
Where am I?
My mind reels with impossible images
That the mind never knew but the soul remembers.
Lost in the void, between worlds, between realities --
Here, but lingering there, afar.
My reflection in a pool of still water
But the face
Is not my own.
Who am I?
Dancing barefoot in dew-laced grass
Twirling, twirling beneath the velvet sky
Dizzy; firelight flickers on features
Of a face that is not my own.
My nostrils filled with the heady scent
Of the wood burning -- I feel the caress
Of the fire's warmth upon my skin --
Or taste the delicious chill
Of fragrant autumn air, in a place
I have never been.
Twirling, twirling, beneath the moonlit sky.
Or running, laughing,
The dappled forest a blur as it rushes past me,
Wind that blows the hair away
From the face that is not my own.
The crunch of leaves beneath unslippered feet,
The ache of laughter in my belly
And of air in my lungs.
Tumbling in the leaf-strewn carpet
Rolling, laughing,
Echoing as I awaken
A tear that lingers in the eye
Of this face - it is my own.


(I don't write much free verse. I would appreciate an honest evaluation of this piece. Thanks!)
© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 08-15-99 11:28 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Afraid I am not qualified to critique free verse, either, but I do know what I like. This writing, for instance...a good case for reincarnation and/or deja vu. Well done.
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


2 posted 08-16-99 01:57 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

Welcome to the forums, nochtdraco ...for constructive criticism, try posting in "critical analysis"
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


3 posted 08-16-99 02:33 AM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

Just lovely, the words flow so smoothly and carry the reader with them.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


4 posted 08-16-99 08:17 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I, too, seldom write free verse - but you've done a very good job here.... Content and use of imagery are the keys to effective free verse - and you seem to have a good handle on that....

------------------
Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done:
For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits,
Than I am sure I have in my whole five.
~ 1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


5 posted 01-14-2002 10:31 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

This moved me so much. Thank you.

Kathleen--(Kay)
A true friend does not love you for who you are, but in spite of who you are." -- Caroline Tran

 
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