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Passions in Poetry

Almost a sonnet? (comments/criticism welcome!)

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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


0 posted 08-15-99 09:53 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Skyfyre

Thou, love, a child of fickle humour art;
Thy nature is a mystery to me --
Upon an hour, thou Heaven's boon may be --
Upon the next, a malady of heart.

So how am I, a stranger to thy way,
To recognize thy delicate pretense,
To know the shield, the adequate defense,
That might thy felling stroke and conquest stay?

I trust thee not, tho' thou alone impart
The bliss that only dearest dreams may be:
For thou art better versed in cruelty
Than in the kinder virtues of the heart!
© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
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Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 08-15-99 10:51 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Welcome! I liked this one as I'm a fan of Shakespearan verse. I read it out load and it flowed beautifully!
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


2 posted 08-15-99 10:57 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Thank you DeVine, I appreciate the compliment ... I have been searching for a finishing couplet for this one for years, but thus far it has eluded me ...
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 08-15-99 11:25 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Oh,grand deceiver, show thyself to me
Unveil the cloak that hides thy mystery.

(or something along those lines?)

An excellent sonnet-minus-two. Your execution and choice of words are flawless.
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


4 posted 08-16-99 12:10 AM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Ah, Balladeer ... I'm blushing!

Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 08-16-99 07:59 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I'm perhaps the biggest sonnet fan at these forums - And I'm really glad to see others attempting them..... More please?...
 
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