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Passions in Poetry

She Carried Dolls

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christies heart
Member
since 08-10-99
Posts 192
NJ, USA


0 posted 08-15-99 05:38 PM       View Profile for christies heart   Email christies heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for christies heart

She carried dolls with crystal faces,
etched in circles of blood.
She carried dolls who ran for refuge
from a sudden flood.

She carried dolls who spoke of hate
and choked upon deceit.
She carrid dolls who could not dance
for fear of shattered feet.

She carried dolls who drank their beer
and watched the Sunday game.
She carried dolls who ruled her world
with tears of silence trapped in shame.

She carried dolls who slipped large hands
between her tiny thighs.
She carried dolls who ran from truth,
blinding her with lies.

She carried dolls with darkened masks,
who forced her to her fate.
She carried dolls with evil words,
twisting love with hate.

She carried dolls until she grew
and tried to run away.
She carried dolls who followed her,
reminding her they'd stay.

She carried dolls who came with her
into the home she built.
She carried dolls who locked her in,
trapping her in guilt.

She carried dolls who would have stayed
until the day she died.
But she mourned her past, and threw away
those dolls who never cried.

I did the 12 and 13th line over as someone suggested..I didn't like much what was there before. Thanks...

[This message has been edited by christies heart (edited 08-16-99).]

[This message has been edited by christies heart (edited 08-18-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Christine R - All Rights Reserved
Craig
Senior Member
since 06-10-99
Posts 882


1 posted 08-15-99 07:13 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig


This is a very powerful piece, the subject was disturbing but it was very well written.

Well done !
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


2 posted 08-15-99 07:17 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Not all dolls do that...some hug and listen..

HUGS

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 08-15-99 08:11 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I agree. This poem is very powerful and disturbing. I would love to see you rework the 11th and 12th lines because the rest of the poem is SO good, it deserves better. Very well done.
thursdayschild
Member
since 07-01-99
Posts 174
Houston, Tx.


4 posted 08-15-99 08:21 PM       View Profile for thursdayschild   Email thursdayschild   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for thursdayschild

Christie, extremely effective and moving.
The last two lines offer a glimmer of hope
in this tragic tale. Well done.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


5 posted 08-15-99 09:17 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

A very strong piece and well done.
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


6 posted 08-15-99 09:23 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

It is sad that a poem like this ever has to be written, that the feelings which it describes had to be felt ... nevertheless, this piece is both heartwrenching (as it should be) and darkly beautiful.
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


7 posted 08-16-99 12:32 AM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

Wow this is a very unusal poem.
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


8 posted 08-16-99 02:03 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

a well done poem indeed...guess i should count myself lucky that i never had dolls as a child?

------------------
one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...your countenance...eight short weeks...My One and Only...Music to my Ears...hoarse whispers...What will it be?...just watching tv...break my heart...serving wench...take a guess...sink or swim
...stolen hours...the mistress...Perfection...a little girl...Mr. Jones...life is like...insomnia...devotion...too soon...07-20-69
...craving...Master...apart...plain...hush...then...shameless self promotion




[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-16-99).]
christies heart
Member
since 08-10-99
Posts 192
NJ, USA


9 posted 08-18-99 07:47 PM       View Profile for christies heart   Email christies heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for christies heart

Just wanted to thank you all for your feedback. I am still finding my way around this place...and couldn't find this poem for the longest time. This was written years ago...Those dolls are history now! But knowing them was no fun.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


10 posted 08-18-99 08:17 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

What can I say. I agree with all above. You have written a disturbing but yet beautiful poem! Great Job!!
aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


11 posted 06-11-2007 02:39 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

Very powerful and haunting.  I really like it - though it is disturbing.  But in an important way.

Alison
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


12 posted 11-12-2007 09:16 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
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