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Passions in Poetry

Hold On To Me

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Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


0 posted 08-15-99 12:55 AM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

Hold on to Me

Hold on to me
Let me comfort you when you hurt
Hold on to me
Let me love you when you hate yourself
Hold on to me
Let me help you through your trials
I am the joy in your smile
I am the tears that you cry
I am in every beat of your heart
Hold on to me.
© Copyright 1999 Tara Simms - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


1 posted 08-15-99 01:00 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Very pretty Tara, but I couldn't find the rythm... (constructive criticism!)

------------------
...the things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice.
-Billy Joel
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


2 posted 08-15-99 01:58 AM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

To Tara enjoyed your poem.Happy writing.
Terri
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 82
Turtle Creek, PA


3 posted 08-15-99 02:06 AM       View Profile for Terri   Email Terri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Terri

I liked it! Maybe it wasn't your intention but this is something I would like to give to my children. It pretty well sums up how I feel about them, how I'd like them to see me...to know I'll always be there for them and a part of them. Thank you!
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


4 posted 08-15-99 03:19 AM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

terri, thank you. actually, i did write it for the teens i work with, so the feeling you got from it is pretty much what i intended.

christopher, no, there's not much rhythm to it, mainly what i wanted to get across was a quiet sense of urgency, support, comfort.
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