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Open Poetry #1
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Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA

0 posted 1999-08-15 12:55 PM


Hold on to Me

Hold on to me
Let me comfort you when you hurt
Hold on to me
Let me love you when you hate yourself
Hold on to me
Let me help you through your trials
I am the joy in your smile
I am the tears that you cry
I am in every beat of your heart
Hold on to me.

© Copyright 1999 Tara Simms - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 1999-08-15 01:00 AM


Very pretty Tara, but I couldn't find the rythm... (constructive criticism!)

------------------
...the things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice.
-Billy Joel

Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
2 posted 1999-08-15 01:58 AM


To Tara enjoyed your poem.Happy writing.
Terri
Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 82
Turtle Creek, PA
3 posted 1999-08-15 02:06 AM


I liked it! Maybe it wasn't your intention but this is something I would like to give to my children. It pretty well sums up how I feel about them, how I'd like them to see me...to know I'll always be there for them and a part of them. Thank you!
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
4 posted 1999-08-15 03:19 AM


terri, thank you. actually, i did write it for the teens i work with, so the feeling you got from it is pretty much what i intended.

christopher, no, there's not much rhythm to it, mainly what i wanted to get across was a quiet sense of urgency, support, comfort.

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