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Passions in Poetry

To Be Loved

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Carolina Girl
Member
since 08-14-99
Posts 65


0 posted 08-14-99 02:30 PM       View Profile for Carolina Girl   Email Carolina Girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Carolina Girl

To Be Loved

I love to be the last face you see as we say goodnight.
I love to be kissed by you in dawns early light.

I love to be the hand you hold when you want me near.
I love to be with you and hide when you want us to disappear.

I love to be the warmth you feel on a cold winter's day.
I love to be the ears that listen to hear what you say.

I love to be the body you hug as you leave every morn.
I love to be the needle and thread when your self-esteem is torn.

I love to be the love in your life, the one who makes you sing.
I love to be the one who loves you back, because of the love
you bring.
© Copyright 1999 Carolina Girl - All Rights Reserved
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


1 posted 08-14-99 02:54 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Very nice form...rhythm is pretty close too...there are a few lines that are a beat or two off, but all in all it's a very nice little piece..! Good work !

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

Carolina Girl
Member
since 08-14-99
Posts 65


2 posted 08-14-99 03:05 PM       View Profile for Carolina Girl   Email Carolina Girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Carolina Girl

Thank you. I know nothing of form, prose....have never studied or read of different styles..I KNOW it shows in my poems! :-) But, I just spit out my feelings....now that I've found a site that can teach me and help me along, I won't mind working on it! Just bear with me, and I guess you can watch me as I learn! Thank you for your compliments! *hugz*
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


3 posted 08-14-99 09:18 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

Welcome to the forums, Carolina Girl...you might want to check out the "critical analysis" forum if you seek constructive criticism




[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-14-99).]
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 08-14-99 09:23 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Any gal from Carolina is good enough for me. For not knowing much, your poem has some good qualities. "I want to be the needle and thread when your self-esteem is torn' is a particularly good line. We welcome you!
 
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