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Passions in Poetry

The Snore - elvira's challenge

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Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


0 posted 08-13-99 09:06 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Poet deVine



I stand here and watch as she walks out the door
perplexed at the reason, all I said was ‘you snore’
Her face went white, she started to yell
I backed up so suddenly I almost fell

I didn’t hear half of what she said
all I could think was ‘this relationship’s dead’
I was only half serious, I wanted to say
it was a cute habit, but she took it the wrong way

I walked around the house, thinking again
that I must be the worst of men
When I spied a note on the bathroom sink
written in lipstick, raspberry pink

"I don’t snore, you fool! Can’t you see
your last girlfriend did, that’s what you told me!
So you must think you’re sleeping with her
You’re a louse, a creep, a slimy cur!"

That night I went to bed for a quiet rest
knowing the sound barrier, my lover wouldn’t test
I awoke in the dark, it must have been three
and discovered that, the snorer was me!

© Copyright 1999 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Lost Dreamer
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since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


1 posted 08-13-99 09:21 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

I liked this, excellent job.
I'm told I snore, talk, and eat in my sleep. My dentist told me I grind my teeth, (how does he know?)I wonder where I've been sleeping!
Dragoness
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since 08-07-99
Posts 525


2 posted 08-13-99 09:25 PM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Nicely done!!! Loved it!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


3 posted 08-13-99 10:12 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

A challenge well met!

------------------
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain*
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 08-13-99 11:00 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I seem to remember something about a snore, deVine one...........
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


5 posted 08-14-99 12:17 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

.......a snore dear sir?
Whatever can you mean?
Mayhaps it was some other poet
who first snored upon the scene!

But this challenge,
taken and given
was to put myself in manly shoes
a fate that leaves me shiverin'

(I'm practicing for National Bad Poetry Day on Wednesday!)
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


6 posted 08-14-99 04:09 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

very well done deVine, you are so spontaneous when it comes to creating a poem ! ...'fraid others did not like my challenge too much ...of course, and i know i've said this before, women never snore
PS: i am not satisfied with my gender-bender poem yet, so it'll be a few more days before i post mine (in the adult forum)
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


7 posted 08-14-99 05:40 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I feel a shameless plug here......if you have not chanced to read anything in the adult forum, I highly recommend it! But please, take your heart pills before you enter...you're going to need 'em!!!!

Bring ice...lots of ice!!!
 
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