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Passions in Poetry

Childish Promise

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Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


0 posted 08-13-99 04:57 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Lucie

The shadow of you that enters my dreams
this look in your eyes I donít know what it means,.
The sadness I see fills my heart up with dread
your mouth moves, you speak, I canít hear what youíve said.

You reach out to touch me I canít feel your hands.
I rise up to meet you, but I canít seem to stand.
A tear falls from your eye and rolls down your face.
This room seems familiar, yet I donít know this place.

The fear in my heart seems to fill up my chest.
My mind is exhausted I canít seem to rest.
Your turning to leave me, I scream out to you,
but you donít seem to hear me. What do I do?

"Donít leave me," I cry "Iím frightened, please stay."
Though Iím screaming to you, you still turn away.
Why are you leaving me here all alone?
You promised me mama youíd stay, but your gone.

13 years have passed now, I still have this dream.
I searched through my soul, still donít know what it means.
The seconds the minutes the hours each day.
I reflect on your promise to a child youíd stay.

And though I am grown now with kids of my own.
There are times in my life I still feel so alone.
Its at these times youíve come to me while I slept.
Perhaps its your way to see a promise is kept.


[This message has been edited by Lucie (edited 08-13-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


1 posted 08-13-99 05:09 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Lucie, perhaps, Keep that thought, the last two lines. Wonderfully written.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 08-13-99 06:53 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

This is very powerful, Lucie, woven very nicely together....beginning, middle and end.
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


3 posted 08-13-99 07:01 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Thank you both for responding. Most of my poems come from my heart and life experience as most peoples do. I appreciate your praises.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


4 posted 08-13-99 07:33 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

A very powerful read! Nightmarish and sad, yet with a touch of hope towards the end. It also has something to say about being more honest with our children concerning the realities of this life, how providing false hope can be more detrimental than comforting. Thank you for sharing what seems to be a very personal matter.
poohbear
Junior Member
since 08-02-99
Posts 42
piedmont,sc


5 posted 08-13-99 07:51 PM       View Profile for poohbear   Email poohbear   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poohbear

ver nicely writtten , certaily hits home
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


6 posted 08-13-99 11:54 PM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

Lucie I know what you are going through.I
lost my mother at the age of five. Though not
in the same way.It leaves a emptiness in your
heart.Longing for a mother that is not there.
At least she is in your dreams.
pen of passion
Member
since 08-11-99
Posts 240


7 posted 08-14-99 12:02 AM       View Profile for pen of passion   Email pen of passion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pen of passion

That was very good, the story and the rhymes.
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


8 posted 08-14-99 02:31 AM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Thank you all for responding. Sometimes the anniversary of an event will bring reflection. Its always at this time of year that she is strongest in my mind and in my heart. It helps to express that loss in my words.
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


9 posted 08-14-99 04:51 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

my heart goes out to you, {{{{{Lucie}}}}}...i wrote a similar poem "a little girl"...though my mother left in a different fashion, i believe you and i share the same sort of pain
juanita
Member
since 08-13-99
Posts 68
Los Angeles, CA, USA


10 posted 08-14-99 05:20 PM       View Profile for juanita   Email juanita   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for juanita

Lucy, your poem brought tears to my eyes.
you did a wonderful job.
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


11 posted 08-14-99 06:22 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

That was very honestly written. I liked it.
Thank you for sharing it with me.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


12 posted 04-20-2004 03:59 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

wow...that's good
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