Ala bam a
Ev'ry mornin' round nine ya can see him arrive,
A few hairs less above his eyes,
The 'gals' they behold him, he gives 'em all lip,
Ev'ryone knew he just got off the ship...
Nobody knows where LongJohn called home,
He just drifted into poetry and posted a poem,
He wrote about kitties, his wife and "Toe"
When he writes about Lorelei he simply glows,
Somebody said he came from New Orleans,
Where he gotta-lotta gas from Cajun Beans,
And passin' gas through-out this land,
Sent alotta us Poets to the promised land,
He was named on a ship that was quite old,
Before they had bathrooms, they used a wide commode,
When all of the sailors needed to pee,
They hung it over the side, and peed in the sea,
Then came the day at the outhouse out back,
When John was "squatting"..taking a crap,
But the weight of his ass made the thing crack,
And LongJohn fell through-from the place that he sat.
Thru the dust and smell of this man made hell,
Down to the bottom old LongJohn fell,
Grabbing at timbers and roots and muck,
Everyone knew he was out of luck
They never reopened that worthless pit,
Just placed a headstone on top of it,
And on that headstone reads these few words:
"At the bottom of this pit lies one big turd.
[This message has been edited by rcarnell (edited 08-13-99).]