Clearly, as the title states, this is dedicated to the person who sits behind me at every movie I go to. Remarkably they change Gender, Appearance, and eating habits from film to film....but they are always there.
Upon re-reading this I noticed it is not funny at all..just terribly hostile....but, nevertheless, it is VERY inspired.
Frankly movies are quite expensive, even on cheap night too,
and I paid to hear this actor speak, not listen endlessly to you.
If you are so legitemately stupid that you can't possibly follow along,
then why do you even go to films, and aggravate the throng?
Now I see that there are three such fok, as inconsiderate as you,
I guess they are your translaters, clearly deaf and lost like you.
The reason you have to speak so loud, you friends struggling to hear,
is that there is a movie playing, so please SHUT UP MY DEAR!
Do you not hear the people, they sigh and 'shhh' to object,
can't you realize we're here to see this film, called "Blair Witch Project"
I know you feel we paid the same, so to spew opinions is your right,
but, trust me, you've nothing uselful to say, we've been hearing it all night.
So please, retire to the lobby, where you may speak with ease,
'cause believe me lady if you stay here you'll be covered in Nacho Cheese.
So when next a movie you wish to see, just stay home and drool.
You'll probabaly offend a few less folk you loud-mouthed, impolite fool.
[This message has been edited by Poetwheel (edited 08-13-99).]