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Passions in Poetry

When a Heart Breaks Alone

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redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


0 posted 08-12-99 11:20 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for redwriter1

still not happy with it.


Remember the first time you fell?
There was noone in sight
nobody to tell
you could feel your heart hit the ground
but when a heart breaks alone
does it make a sound?

Like the sound of crying babys
sobbing themselves to sleep
Like the weight of the world
falling at your feet

The never ending echo
of the beating and the pound
When a heart breaks alone
does it make a sound?

Can't they see I'm hiding
I don't hear a word they say
They just keep talking
and laughing
and acting like
I'm ok
They don't hear the noise I hear
but it's always around
When a heart breaks alone
does it make a sound?


------------------
Kay-lynn
**A dream is a wish your heart makes

[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-13-99).]

[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-14-99).]
© Copyright 1999 redwriter1 - All Rights Reserved
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


1 posted 08-12-99 11:25 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

I love it, what about it aren't you satisfied with?
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


2 posted 08-12-99 11:34 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1


maybe I'm just pushing it... mmm
don't know..

------------------
Kay-lynn
**A dream is a wish your heart makes



[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-13-99).]
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 08-13-99 12:33 AM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Does it make a small explosion
You'd think anyone could hear
Like waves crashing in the ocean
Or the falling of a tear...

Will it wake the world from slumber
Or, in silence, is it bound?
When a heart breaks alone
Does it make a sound?

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 08-13-99).]
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


4 posted 08-13-99 12:46 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I wouldn't want to offer actual verses, because I'm more of a free verse girl, but topics I can do. Balladeer got to my idea of the ocean first (not a gripe!!!) but perhaps you could work wind, laments (funereal) or the lonely cry of birds in somehow. I like it, what you have already, by the way.
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


5 posted 08-14-99 03:44 PM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

Your suffering need not be witnessed
for it to make a sound.
In today's crazy world
hearts are breaking all around.

Can you hear the pulsing
when your heart beats alone?
The strength in its desire,
The timber of its tone?

It screams to be heard
but it needn't shout
Love, at its best, is a whisper
Tenderness is what it's about.

To answer your question,
of when a heart breaks alone
Yes, it can be heard
as a soft cry, a pitiful moan.

Your pain is so obvious
to those of us who see.
I can hear your heart breaking,
it's speaking to me.
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


6 posted 08-14-99 04:19 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

Wow.. tara.. that was great!!... wheww.. how do you guys do that?? ahhaha..

Your reply.. will be saved in my favorite folder.. thank you..

[This message has been edited by redwriter1 (edited 08-17-99).]
Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 1285
Honea Path, SC USA


7 posted 08-15-99 03:44 AM       View Profile for Tara Simms   Email Tara Simms   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tara Simms's Home Page   View IP for Tara Simms

red, you inspired me with yours! i love the idea behind it, run with it!
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


8 posted 07-23-2000 02:37 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

Still working on this after all this time. geesh..
I guess I just don't know when to quit.

Kay-lynn
**A dream is a wish your heart makes :)

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