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Passions in Poetry

Saturated

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suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


0 posted 08-12-99 04:48 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for suthern

Tears rushing down my face
Can't erase
The scorch of your displeasure.
In an instant, all is lost -
Such great cost.
Everything I treasure
Vanishes. And so it seems
I just dreamed
I meant something to you.
Might have been's a sad refrain
And I rain
Tears which have no value.
© Copyright 1999 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


1 posted 08-12-99 04:50 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Okay....Lessee?....It's over my knee....severe rebuking.....scolding...or give ya another chance to get cheerie again....what's it gonna be?......Nice but sad....let me find my paddle!
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


2 posted 08-12-99 05:02 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Very sad indeed. However, I liked the way it was presented, with the breaks all in the right place yet still connected. Very nice form, but again a very sad statement.
suthern
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since 07-29-99
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on the threshold of a dream


3 posted 08-12-99 05:19 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

But... but... but... Toe!!! You KNOW I don't write cheerie but once a decade or so! LOL. So I guess I'd better choose my punishment, hunh? *G* Decisions, decisions. *G* Can I pick 2? LOL.
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 08-12-99 05:41 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

The harsh words really make your poem stand out. Well done, Suthern.

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


5 posted 08-12-99 06:43 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Suthern, the poem to me read like one large tear drop. Nicely done.
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


6 posted 08-12-99 07:01 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Suthern...with all your thoughts, Toe's and mine, being laid bare...shares in Kleenex have risen on the FTSE by 150%...

For each tear you cry
a sparkle reaches your eyes!

Big HUSG my friend

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.




[This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 08-12-99).]
Trevor
Senior Member
since 08-12-99
Posts 744
Canada


7 posted 08-12-99 07:07 PM       View Profile for Trevor   Email Trevor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Trevor

Loved the ending....thanks for the read.
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


8 posted 08-12-99 09:11 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

All tears have value dear,
though they make your makeup smear.
Well done, though distressingly sad!
At the one who spurned you, oh I'm mad!

------------------
Where did I go wrong, I never needed this before,
I need a woman, to help me feel.
-Live-
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


9 posted 08-12-99 09:51 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Suthern, don't feel that way. I'm not displeased with ya. Oh, I know you always take Toe's side against me and ridicule me, attack me and laugh at me but I know it's only because you have been under his evil influence for too long. So be happy. Ah loves ya, man! (now where's that Bud Light?)
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


10 posted 08-13-99 07:55 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Sorry, 'Deer.... don't drink LIGHT beer! LOL.

Thank you all for your kind comments...

RG: I'd forgotten. *G* I guess my tears do have value to Kleenex stockholders! LOL.

Toe: I'm waiting!!!! *G*
 
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