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You need but
| Open Poetry #1 |
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You need but |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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You need but Breach your zone of self control Reach the touchstone of your soul. Turn your key of desire And fire innovations you Leave behind the mundane mire Sire, the unencumbered view. Walk upon some rainbow's ramp Hear a camp of angels sing. Wring and rub Aladdins lamp Damp your mental whimpering. Be a genie of augment Scent your dreams of fantasy Fill your heart with mild content Vent them to reality. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I like the content, but should "innovations" be "innovate"? I'll be checking back! ------------------ © KRJ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, your right, my mistake thanks. |
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Sue Member
since 1999-08-04
Posts 383France |
Innovations, schminovations, I liked the poem nonetheless. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Yes, I did like this one, nice job! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
My Guy, Sy... ------------------ Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Goose chase, I am done: For thou hast more of the Wild-Goose in one of thy wits, Than I am sure I have in my whole five. ~ ²1592 Wm. Shakespeare ~ Romeo & Juliet ~ ii. iv. 75 |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Once again thank you all for the comments. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I's likes this! Great rhetorical poetic conventions! Just wondering about innovations...I actually think it sounds OK, if you read fire as a verb and insert a mental comma after innovations - am I way off?! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
To Severn, yes you could do that. I think I had that in mind when I was writing. |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
beautiful and lesson's of life. full of wisdoms enjoyed |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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