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Passions in Poetry

Its time everybody knew the WHOLE truth

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 08-10-99 06:55 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

There has been much ado over the tales of fiendish deeds,
Perpetuated on our ‘Deer while he sailed the seven seas.
But you can rest assured my friends that I have never mocked
The flashy spandex tights he wears beneath his schoolgirl frocks.

And its not me who criticizes his outlandishly styled hair,
(Though I must admit his toupee needs some spirit gum up there.)
And, I’ve ALWAYS been respectful of the volume of his wit,
(Although, for some strange reason the ‘half’ part seems to fit).

No. I’ve felt that he’s truly a kindred spirit of the seas,
For there is honor amongst us pirates, like that amongst the thieves.
I’ve seen the way he trims his sails and brings his ship about,
When that wily Toerag tries to shoot ‘Deer’s headlights out.

I’ve also witnessed the romantic side of this man called Balladeer,
Of how he scores with all the ‘chicks’ in the diner he sails near.
And its never ceased to amaze me how clever he is with lines,
And how he brings in accomplices when he falls on harder times.

I’ve never been surprised at the volleys that he’ll exchange,
When Toerag tries to board him (now there’s a man deranged!).
The part that takes me aback is how both of them have brought
This loveable old sailor into the skirmishes they have fought.

Now, Toerag, I must admit, has often been maligned,
But by me? A loud ‘NO’ I say. It wasn’t me who signed
All those beautiful lines of prose that make the damsels sigh,
(Sigh?!! They were that good?) OK! I admit that it was I.

But Toerag had it coming because he’s a devil in disguise,
And all us angels know, therefore, his wings should be denied.
Sure he writes some poetry tender ladies hold to their breasts,
(But I wonder if they’d hold them that close if they smelled his breath.)

And I’ve got to wonder at the branches of his family tree,
For when my friend Darwin looked, there wasn’t much to see.
There was one really long long branch that represented him,
Oh! Wait, that was the trunk. ‘Deer’s right! There are no limbs.

As for Poetwheel (that cad) and the way he’s taken sides,
Writing with his gifted pen as he spreads his dirty lies,
He ought to be more careful in describing my trousseau,
I get most of my fashion sense from his choice of clothes.

And the way he eviscerates me so gleefully o’er and o’er,
Makes me wonder if he really originates from any shore.
Perhaps he is a great white shark wearing poet’s garb,
Or maybe a Man O’ War, with about ten thousand barbs.

It doesn’t really matter because everybody else can see,
That I am the most WONDERFUL sailor of the seven seas.
And while these vicious poets stand toe to rag each day,
I’ll peacefully stand to one side and steal the women’s hearts away.

For every woman in here can tell what a gentleman am I
For I always respect the ladies as I look them in the eye.
I never steal secretive glimpses down their low-cut dress,
(Although I might peek just a bit. OK! I gawk I confess).

And in the past when ladies have gone out to dine with me,
I’ve held their door, their chair, their coat, and all of it for free.
I’ve never expected even a kiss in payment for their meal.
OK! I admit it! I may have tried to cop a feel.

And when they have offered me a hasty good night peck,
I never tried to extend the night by asking them to neck.
Oh sure! You’ve been talking to the dozen (maybe two),
Women who had to use their mace to say our date was through.

And so, dear ladies of the Forum, I’m sure that you’ll agree,
Those nasty boys Toerag, Balladeer and Poetwheel,
Have really gone overboard in vilifying this poor old man,
Who writes as Long John Silver, the angel of sea and land.


Now - aren’t you meanies ashamed of picking on me???
© Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


1 posted 08-10-99 11:26 PM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Touche! Point and thrust, match met!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


2 posted 08-11-99 06:50 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Hey....nice poem there Mother Teresea...Um, er, LongJohn.....and so believable too!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


3 posted 08-11-99 07:36 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Toerag

Thank you, thank you. Your endorsement of my saintly attributes lends much needed credibility to my tarnished image. I just hope that rascally 'Deer and his cohorts of poison-penmanship also recant their fiendish besmirking of a reputation that has been polished - indeed, my repute used to be so highly sought that I often lended it to places of ill repute, just so they could get well again.
Sue
Member
since 08-04-99
Posts 407
France


4 posted 08-11-99 09:34 AM       View Profile for Sue   Email Sue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sue

I'm sure you are all much-maligned, the only trouble is that you are all such unmitigated liars, to boot!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 08-11-99 09:41 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Bravo to all of you curs.

------------------
© KRJ
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

ac
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 132
Cayey, PR - USA


6 posted 08-11-99 09:49 AM       View Profile for ac   Email ac   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ac

absolutely brilliant retaliation...BRAVO...
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


7 posted 08-11-99 01:23 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

This place is outa control....




[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 08-11-99).]
Lorelei54
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 486


8 posted 08-11-99 02:43 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

Yikes! It double posted!

[This message has been edited by Lorelei54 (edited 08-11-99).]
Lorelei54
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 486


9 posted 08-11-99 02:43 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

He thinks he's such a saint
This sailor man of mine.
He can't resist a single feud
Me thinks he has too much time:
Thats why they've sent him to NEBRASKA
For a day or two.

[This message has been edited by Lorelei54 (edited 08-11-99).]
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


10 posted 08-11-99 04:34 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Lor: Thanks... we need the break! LOL. Too bad you didn't send him sooner! *G*
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


11 posted 08-11-99 04:45 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

A fine shot over the bow, Long John. Most enjoyable! Sail On!
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


12 posted 08-14-99 10:47 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Thank you one and all. I've been way too busy - you'd think they would pay me for doing all this work I'm doing... what's that? They DO pay me? Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Carolina Girl
Member
since 08-14-99
Posts 65


13 posted 08-14-99 11:05 AM       View Profile for Carolina Girl   Email Carolina Girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Carolina Girl

Great Poem, Long John! Now, someone email me with the short cuts for this site!! Either I'm missing how to navigate through, or all of you have picked up speed!!! I was going to post my first poem on here...but I need to get my life preserver before I jump in!!
aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


14 posted 06-10-2007 07:01 PM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

:: Laughs :;

Oh the innocence(cents) in the pages of the past!
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


15 posted 11-12-2007 09:10 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

giggle

I enjoyed this poem

ARCTIC WIND
 
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